Mismatched
by starrysoso88
Summary: I'm Rose Weasley and I fancy the pants off of Scorpius Malfoy. My life would end if anyone ever found out. Especially my cousin, Dominique, since she's dating him. Oh and Scorpius because he would probably rather baby sit the giant squid than look at me.
1. The MeetCute or Something Like It

I knew from the first time he sneered at me that I was in love with him. There was something about me that seemed to offend him so deeply that the distaste would etch itself on his face. And it intrigued me.

"Don't get _too_ friendly with him now, Rosie."

Yes, because that really makes an eleven year old girl listen.

That was the first time he interested me. Dad seemed to hate him, Mum seemed amused. I couldn't really see him in the crowd. After that, Albus and I were jostled through the throngs of students and parents until we reached the train that would take us to the next seven years of our lives.

The rest, they say, is history.

"Watch it, Weasley. Try minding your surroundings the next time you decide to stop and drool in the middle of the halls."

Ah, and there he is now, the object of my keen affections. He had it all in my eyes. Maybe not the devilish good looks that, as much as it pains me to admit, my cousin James has. But rather a sort of beauty that only comes with being the aristocrat he is. Gorgeous grey eyes, sharp features, a debonair sort of attitude that commanded attention…

Yeah, I sound like a bleeding idiot. But hey, I'm just being honest. Half the girls in Hogwarts can tell you that much. Maybe even some of the guys. It _is_ the 21st century after all.

"Rose, are you coming or not?" Trust Albus, my dearest cousin, to break me from my reverie.

"Yeah, Al. Of course I am." I hitch my book bag up on my shoulder and catch up to the untamable mop of hair that is my best friend.

"Alright there, Rosie?" Albus gives me that famous Potter grin and ruffles my own red mess of hair. It's nearly unmanageable, just like Mum's was.

"Yeah, yeah. Just fine, _Dad_. What have I said about calling me Rosie?" I give his hand a swat for good measure. He only grins at me.

"You were thinking about the little Malfoy again, weren't you?" I try not to flinch at his words. Yes, there is someone who knows of my, dare I say infatuation. I mean, it wasn't hard for him to guess. He does know me better than anyone in the world. I'd say he found out around third year, right before Christmas. If I was to guess.

"I was _not_," I bluster, "I was simply reasoning out an Arithmancy problem between classes."

"You weren't," he teases back. "How about you just admit to the world that you fancy the bloke, Rosie?" I sigh. Boys really have no common sense.

"I can think of a few good reasons to do absolutely not that, Albus Severus. And don't call me Rosie, damnit." He only sighs back at me, looping a casual arm around my shoulder.

"Just because the guy hates you is no reason not to tell him of your amorous intentions."

"I can think of a better reason," I snarl back. "Have you forgotten about our cousin?" Al pretends to scratch his head.

"Which one?" I want to throttle him, I swear to God I do. I know we've got enough family in this school to form a small militia, but honestly.

"Maybe the gorgeous, French, half-veela one that has been flirting with him for the past _five months_?" I whisper yell as we stop to wait for the staircases to stop moving.

"It's really been five months since the start of term? I guess it has," He reaches this conclusion after counting the months out on his fingers. How he's one of Gryffindor's brightest, I'll never know. Well, second to me of course. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm pretty smart. Al says that's why Scorpius hates me so much.

"Yes Al, from September first, to today, _Dominique_, if you haven't figured it out by now, has been ardently pursuing Scorpius." I say the last bit with an added dash of melancholy.

Al rolls his gorgeous eyes at me. Yes, I do say gorgeous because I am in fact quite jealous of them. I've got the short end of the stick, really. Dad's red hair and Mum's brown eyes. It might have worked for Aunt Ginny, but it's doing nothing for me.

Damn Hugo, my not so darling third-year of a brother for getting all the recessive traits. Oh well. Life's short, then you die.

"Rosie? You've spaced out again and the staircase is done changing. Please stop whatever internal monologue you've got going so we can make it to Potions on time." My morose feelings immediately dissipate.

"Did you say Potions, Al?" He stops whatever fiddling he's doing with the strap of his book bag.

"_Yes_, Rose. Potions is our second period. Right after Charms, just like it has been all year." I grin at him and grab his hand to pull him along.

"Then what are we waiting for, slowpoke?" I love Potions. Truly, I really do. First of all, Slughorn is _still_ teaching it, wrinkly old walrus that he is. I'm not particularly fond of the man but he just adores me. What can I say? I have charm. Well, maybe Scorpius doesn't think so, but those are just details. He'll come around soon enough.

Anyways, second of all, I'm rather ace at Potions anyways. Albus and I _always_ pair up and let's just say we rock. And finally, Potions is one of the few classes Gryffindors and Slytherins share together. We've got Defense, Divination, and History of Magic with them as well. But as for Charms, Arithmancy, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures, and Transfiguration? Well, I have to brave those alone. Okay, not alone. I've got my best mate Al by my side. But no lovely blonde head of hair to distract myself with.

And it's suffice to say that I want to throw myself over a cliff or at the very least feed myself to an angry hippogriff during the lessons we don't have with Slytherin. Why is that? Because Slytherin shares those classes with Ravenclaw. And guess who Ravenclaw's most prized student is? Dominique Weasley.

And, consequentially, my other best friend. Shoot me now. If you can't do that, I'll settle for having my eyes poked out with my wand.

Yeah, I'm a tad dramatic. Mum says I get it from Dad. I don't doubt it.

"Slow down, Rose. I'm going to fall down the stairs and my mangled body will be on display in the dungeons for all the Slytherins to mock. Plus I won't be able to play quidditch this weekend."

"Don't be such a baby, Al," I yell back as we careen down the stairs. I come to a screeching halt at the bottom as I see Scorpius entering the classroom.

"Hey, Malfoy," Al calls out good naturedly. Scorpius' back stiffens and he turns around.

"Don't suppose I could help you, Potter?" His manners are a fraud, I can tell. But he pulls it off well.

"Want to know a secret?" I immediately enter panic mode and tug on Al's robes.

"Don't you _dare_," I hiss, knowing only he could hear me. Thank God. Al makes no move to show that he's heard me. He only grins a little wider.

"I don't care to know anything from you, Potter."

"Good, because I wouldn't tell you anything anyways." Al sticks out his tongue and blows a raspberry. Scorpius takes the time to look mildly offended and stalks into the classroom.

"Oh real mature, you git. You nearly gave me a heart attack. I'd kindly appreciate it if you would never do that again."

"Oh, Rosie, darling. Like I'd ever give away your secret. A secret so huge it could destroy our entire family. Uncle Ron would go ballistic, Aunt Hermione would probably cry, Dominique would never forgive you, Scorpius just might vomit. The list goes on and on you see."

"Stop calling me Rosie," is the only response I dignify him with. My best mate really is a git. But then again, the other one is after my man. At least that's one thing I know Al will never do.

Al and I sit down next to each other in the back, our preferred area of seating. This way, Slughorn doesn't notice us as much. It's a lame attempt that rarely works, but hey, we've got to try. Al is setting up our cauldron and laying out the necessary ingredients as I skim over the pages in our text that dictate today's lesson.

"Oh, crap," I mutter as I realize my elbow has knocked my quill off the desk and onto the stone floor. I reach down to pick it up, only to brush hands with someone who is also trying to retrieve it. I shiver at the coolness of the skin.

"Here you go…Oh, it's you Weasley. Take your quill." My heart nearly explodes out of my chest. He's looking at me. He's actually looking at me and acknowledging me. I must have done something right today. Especially since he's seated exactly to the left of me.

"T-thank you, Scorpius." He doesn't say anything back, only looks mildly startled. But he is quick to smooth the emotion out of his face. I can hear Al snickering to my right and I kick him in the shins. He discreetly flicks my quill to the ground again.

Scorpius looks at me, probably because I've been looking at him. Damn.

"I'm not going to get it again, Weasley. You've really got to learn to keep a hold on your things." I sigh and pick up the quill. I should have known.

"Alright, class. Before we begin today's lesson, I have a surprise I'm sure you all will love." Rose groaned. Whenever those words left a Professor's mouth, it only could only spell trouble.

"New potions partner!" The walrus clapped his hands together excitedly. "I find it high time to have some of our exceedingly exceptional students," he looked pointedly at Al and me, "help out some of our…less focused…students." This time he cast a gaze at Scorpius who was twirling his wand in a bored fashion.

Before I could say Merlin's trousers, hopscotch, or any other nonsense, Professor Slughorn and started spouting out pairs. I watched dismally as Albus collected his things and sat next to Lorcan Scamander, the less bright and more trouble-oriented of the Scamander twins.

"Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy." I dare say Slughorn looked mighty pleased with himself, but I was ready to kill him. Yes, I had fantasized that this moment would come, but I was in no way prepared for it. It was only a silly cliché in my mind. Great, now I would have to keep a steady hand around the love of my life. And he looks like he's about to be violently ill. Lovely.

Oh and look. Albus is simply in stitches from his seat by Lorcan. Remind me to kill him, won't you? I can see Scorpius is about to start verbally protesting, so I quickly move my stuff to the seat next to him. Not very far. We sit in silence as Slughorn continues to call out names and rearrange seats. I can't bring myself to say anything. But it looks like I won't have to. He's about to speak.

"Alright Weasley, don't talk to me. I won't talk to you. I give you the ingredients, you add them. Despite what Old Sluggy seems to think, I'm actually fairly brilliant at this." I look up at him in awe. I always knew he was smart.

"I'm sure you are," I mutter sincerely, not actually thinking he'd hear me.

"What did you say to me, Weasley?" Oh great. I turn red and tell him.

"I said I was sure that you are. Brilliant at Potions, that is." He glares at me. Merlin, you'd think I just stoned his owl. The guy obviously can't take a compliment.

"Don't mock me." He thinks I was mocking him? Hardly. I think he's amazing. Though I'd never really _say_ that.

"I wasn't mocking you," I snap back. Alright, so I'm a little offended he thinks so low of me.

"Whatever." And we're back to silence. But on one hand I'm ecstatic. To be honest, this is our longest conversation to date. I'm not kidding.

In first year, I shyly went up to him as we were getting out of the boats that ferried us across the Black Lake and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around, pale eyebrows raised.

"Hi, I'm Rose Weasley." I gave him my best smile. It was time to meet the boy that Daddy seemed so against. What can I say? I've always been rebellious.

He sneered at me then. And as mentioned before, that was what did it. That was when I fell in love, as I've said.

"Scorpius Malfoy. My father says not to associate with the likes of you." We already had something in common.

"My Daddy said that too. But I don't care," I told him, trying to sound tough under his calculating stare.

"Well I do." And that was it for the first year of our education. I found out all I could and about his family in the extensive Library that Hogwarts offered. I understood why our fathers didn't want us to associate with each other. The term mortal enemies springs to mind.

Second year, he joined Slytherin's quidditch team as Seeker, just like Al. They had quite the rivalry going on. Still do, I'd reckon.. It was that year that I'd joined up as Chaser to get a little more face time with Scorpius. I mean, play the game I love and adore. We'd exchanged a few heated words on the pitch every now and then. I couldn't wait for those games. Still can't.

Third year, Fourth year, and this year, our contact was limited to those brief moments when we would fly past one another on the field or pass each other in the halls on game day. But now…he's my Potions partner. He's stuck with me every damn day until we take our OWLs. And I'm stuck with him. My hands are going to shake, my voice would quaver if we were actually going to be speaking, and the butterflies in my stomach are going to run rampant.

"Watch what you're doing, Weasley!" He snaps at me as I almost empty a handful of lacewing flies onto the table instead of in the cauldron. I really need to pay more attention.

"Sorry, Scorpius," I say under my breath.

"No one calls me Scorpius, Weasley. It's Malfoy to you." Well, I can see why. Of course the poor boy's got a bloody complex. I would too if my name was Scorpius Hyperion.

"What about _Dominique_?" I whisper back, putting extra emphasis on my best friend's name. Dare I say that Scorpius turned pink? It must have been a trick of light.

"I thought I said no talking, Weasley." Boo. I don't bother to say anything else. I'm too disappointed.

"Rose! Oh, Rosie!" Dominique is practically skipping over to the Gryffindor table at supper. She usually sits here anyways. "Classes have been so dull without you and Al." She sticks out her tongue in obvious distaste.

"We've missed you too, Dom" Albus choruses back. It's like this every day, at every meal. Ravenclaw and Gryffindor don't share a single class. It's rather disappointing. As much as I've mentally abused Dom, she _is_ my best mate, and of course family. Plus, Al's a boy. There isn't the same unspoken bond. Or whatever.

"So, see any blokes you like in lessons today?" It's always the same to her. She asks me this every day, and the answer is always the same.

"Of course not, Dominique. I've got to focus on my studies this year. OWL's are –"

"Yes, I _know_, Rosie. Just around the corner," she finishes for me. "And you say the same bloody thing every year. I'm so tired of it. It's so boring. It's so dull." That's the thing about Dominique. She's got to be constantly entertained. Probably why she's been after Scorpius for so long. And yes, five months is a long time for Dom.

"You'll never guess what's happened to me, Rose." I can tell she's been waiting to tell me something from the moment she sat down.

"Malfoy has asked me to be his girlfriend! Me, Rosie! Can you believe it?" I first fight the urge to vomit. Then the urge to remark sarcastically that it was just waiting to happen. A ticking time bomb of lurve. And I was ever so happy for her.

"No way." I automatically say. But I make sure I sound playful, just the cue she needs to recount the entire story. Yeah, I know my cousin too well.

And so it begins, the tale of how she was just struggling so much with this one thing in Transfiguration and how McGonagall (how she's still teaching I'll _never_ know. I suspect she and Slughorn are in cahoots) was chewing her out. And then, in swoops Scorpius, showing her how to properly pronounce the incantation. And how just minutes later he too was struggling and she needed to show him the proper wand movements.

I fought the urge to say "that's what she said," I promise. It didn't stop me from muttering it into my napkin. Al heard, of course. The wanker.

"We're going _steady_," Dominique gives a breathy sigh. Oh honestly, we're not in the 1950's anymore. Have some dignity, Dom. "He's my boyfriend. I'm dating Malfoy." And it's time to begin dealing out congratulations. I try to squeal in excitement with her, but it comes out sounding like a dying animal. But it's okay. She doesn't notice. Al does. And he's laughing. Again. Or maybe he's _still_ laughing. Didn't know I amused him so damn much. Maybe it's just my misfortune. That's got to be it.

"Oh, Dom, I'm so happy for you! I know how mad you've been about him." I really have to congratulate myself on my acting skills.

"If he makes you cry, I'll beat him up," Al promises halfheartedly. I know he's sort of been wishing I was the one he would say that too. Well, me too.

"You two are the best!" Dom hugs us both tightly at the table, not an easy feat let me tell you.

Dom actually leaves at this point, to flounce over to the Slytherin table. Looks like she'll be spending her meals with her, gag me, boyfriend now. The other Slytherin's don't really mind her, considering she's a Ravenclaw and ridiculously beautiful. If I was sitting over there with him, it would be a different story.

"Don't say that Rosie. You're just as pretty as Dominique." Albus smiles at me.

"I was talking out loud again, wasn't I?" He nods at me.

"But don't worry, no one else heard. But seriously, you're just as pretty. Promise." Alright, so my cousin does have his cuddly moments as well. I suppose he's trying to redeem himself for laughing before, but I don't care. Albus is my favorite, and I'll take whatever crap he gives me any day.

"Al's right, Rosie sweet," I look up across the table and come face to face with another one of my cousins.

"Thanks, James," I sigh before stabbing a piece of roast with my fork.

"I mean, sure Dom is part veela, and she's got blonde hair instead of your messy, but endearing, red. And she might be a few inches taller –"

"But you're curvier," Lorcan Scamander throws in suggestively, although he receives stony glares from Al, James, and Fred, another one of the Weasley militia, who is sitting next to James.

"As I was _saying_, you may be a little shorter than her, and you may have a few more freckles on your nose, but you're totally just as attractive as Dominique."

Yeah, I'm not really sure what to say to that. I think James was trying to be nice, but he certainly has an interesting way about him. I wouldn't expect him to be able to land a girlfriend to save his life, but as Quidditch captain and pro Chaser (besides moi of course) it kind of comes with the territory.

He's got girls all over him, of course. But there's one he really fancies. Can't remember her name or face to save my life. Oh he's looking at me expectedly now. I think he wants reassurance that he's cheered me up.

"Wow, thanks James." He only salutes me and leaves the table with Fred, totally immune to my sarcasm. Thank God I have Albus around. Speak of the devil; he's leaving the hall without me, trailing after James and Fred. I take it back. He's the worst best mate ever.

Okay so that's fully not true. He just waved and me and smiled. I guess I can forgive him. It looks like everyone is leaving to return to their respective Common Room. I can see Hugo's curly head of brown hair leaving too. I wave at him and he sticks his tongue out. Gotta love 'em.

I unwrap a peppermint I found in the pocket of my robe and stick it in my mouth to get rid of the taste of tonight's roast. It was good, but on the off chance I am attacked by some deliriously good looking boy who wishes to snog me, I'll be damned it my breath tastes like meat and potatoes.

It's pretty quiet now in the halls, I realize, as I make my way to the bottom of the first staircase leading up to Gryffindor Tower. I look longingly at the stairs leading down to the dungeons. The ones that don't move. The nice ones that aren't quite as steep.

"What are you staring at, Weasley?" I let out a squeak, thinking for half a second that there really _was_ a deliriously good looking boy wishing to snog me. I turned around hopefully. Scorpius Malfoy. Deliriously good looking boy? Definitely. Was he wishing to snog me? Not in a million years. He was actually kind of glowering at me and looking annoyed.

"Uh, staring? Oh, I was staring at the stairs." Okay, that sounded completely ridiculous. Even I know that. But what can I say? He's got this silly way of making me crazy for him. I can't help it.

"Why do you care?" It didn't come out mean like I had kind of hoped it would. No, it was sickeningly pathetic. Like I was begging him to say he cared. I disgust myself sometimes. I thought I had my acting skills down with Dom. I was obviously wrong. He sneered at me. That lovely sneer that started it all. Maybe I'll tell him one day. He won't laugh. He'll just look at me like I'm mad. Like usual.

"I don't care about Weasley's." I somehow find that highly ironic. And rude. Hello? Does the name Dominique ring a bell for him?

"You're dating my cousin!" I fire back. I've stumped him now, I'm sure.

"Fine, let me rephrase that, I don't care about _you_."

Ouch. That was low. Lower than I expected him to go. Dad's words ring in my ears but I push them away. There is something more to Scorpius, I'm still sure of it.

He turns and continues down to the dungeons where I know, even after all of that; he'll sleep like a baby. Well I won't, I can tell you that much.

What a jerk.

But that's okay, because he's my jerk.

But not, because now he's technically Dom's.

Damnit.


	2. Love and War

It's currently the month of January and I've never been so hot in my entire life. Remind me to kill whoever thought it would be a brilliant idea to put a heating charm on the _whole_ _castle_ during the winter. I'm sitting in class dressed in as little as possible. No, I'm not naked.

Even Albus isn't taking the time to revel in my misfortune. _That's_ how bloody hot it is.

"Al," I pant, "I. Am going. To die." So what if I'm being slightly melodramatic. I really feel like I'm going to suffocate or maybe even drown in my own sweat. Yeah, it's gross.

"I know, Rosie. I know." I don't even tell him off for calling me Rosie. _That's_ how bloody hot it is. I can't freaking wait to get to the dungeons. I never thought I'd say it, but going down there is going to be a relief.

Yeah, ever since Slughorn assigned me and Scorpius as Potions partners last week, it's been a living nightmare. Well, maybe it's that coupled with the fact that I can see the hickeys on his neck that I know Dom gave him. It's so disgusting I want to vomit into our cauldron. But that would ruin the potion and get us a failing grade, thus prompting Scorpius to hate me. Oh wait, he already does.

"Albus, tell me this horrid lesson is over already."

"The lesson's over." I roll my eyes at him. Good to know he's got some of his humor back.

"No, Rose, really. It's time to go." Thank _God_. So what if I'm the only one sitting in a desk with her head down as the Charms Professor glares at me. I don't care. Neither should the Professor. Because I'm a badass when it comes to Charms. Not to brag or anything…

Everyone in the halls is sweating. No one is wearing a robe. No one is wearing the grey sweater vests. None of the girls are wearing tights. No one has their ties correctly done up. McGonagall better do something, I swear. As Transfiguration Professor and Headmistress I suspect it's her duty. Couldn't she transfigure the castle into a giant block of ice?

That would be lovely, thanks.

Al and I move as quickly as we can to the dungeons. It takes a while, but the more staircases we descend, the cooler it gets.

"I've _got_ to say something to the Head Boy at our next meeting," Albus groans. Yeah, he's a prefect. I'm totally not. It might have something to do with the temper. And the sarcasm.

"You better," I tell him as we enter the classroom. Of course Scorpius is already there, looking perfectly at ease, as if his skin isn't melting off. Upon closer inspection I find there isn't even the slightest glisten to his skin. That's just unfair.

So, we're sitting in silence, and I'm fully minding my own business. Scratch that, I'm intently staring at his face in wonder, desperately trying to figure out how he's doing it.

"Do you have a problem, Weasley?" How should I even respond to that?

Yes, actually. I'm in love with you and you're snogging my cousin. Oh and I'd really like to know how you seem cool as a cucumber since the castle has apparently been moved to Africa. I don't think so.

"You're not hot." He's glaring at me now. Oh, right. I guess that could come off as rather rude.

"Er, not that you're not attractive. I mean temperature wise. Temperature wise. Because really you're fit. Or, so I've heard. People seem to think you're fit." I really should never have said anything at all.

Scorpius smirked at me. I think all the bones in my body just liquefied. He actually seems kind of amused.

"You're not hot either." Clever, really. That was just discourteous. I already have a complex because of Dom. Thanks, Scorpius. You really are my knight in shining armor.

"Yeah, well you're a jerk."

"And you're an insufferable know-it-all" Actually he's pretty wrong about that. Sure, I'm ace in all my classes. So is Al. But we're majorly huge nerds. I mean, socially, I know nothing at all. I think that's fairly obvious.

"Am not." Have I mentioned I'm super mature as well?

"Are too." Apparently Scorpius is also.

"Look," I concede, "can you just show me how you're not dying in this heat?" I'm going to take my wounded dignity to the hospital wing now, if you don't mind. He only shrugs.

"Cooling charm, of course." I almost expect a 'elementary, my dear Weasley". Not that he'd ever put on a posh voice like that. And he sure as hell is never going to call me 'dear'.

The next day Dom and I have one of our rare moments alone. Albus is in the library tutoring James. It never ceases to amuse me how different those two are. Scorpius must be off doing something equally as fascinating. I'm actually kind of glad he's not around so Dom and I can hang out like we used to.

I can't believe I just said that. Oh well, maybe I'm maturing. I mentally snort.

"We have a Hogsmeade trip coming up," Dominique bubbles excitedly as we sit down outside on the steps where the heat from the castle can't reach us. Sure, it's freezing out. But she's in her ultra chipper happy mood right now, I can tell.

"Yeah, I saw it posted on the notice board this morning." I try to pretend like it interests me.

"Please tell me you're not planning on staying back with Al and _studying_." She says it like it's a bad thing. I had in fact planned on doing exactly that and Al wanted to read up on The Giant Wars. He might be a bigger nerd than me. But probably not, seeing as he doesn't spend the majority of his time talking to himself like I do.

"Er, of course not. Where would you get an idea like that, Dom?" She laughs at me and I find it's actually kind of funny too.

"I knew it. You two have _got_ to come this time." She sticks out her bottom lips and waggles her eyebrows. We're laughing a second later.

"Actually, Dom, I think I'd really like to go. But, you see Albus is reading up on something or another. I'm sorry." And I truly am. Because, I actually really want to go to Hogsmeade. It just seems depressing sitting up in the castle all alone with my cousin.

"Well, you and I could go!" She suggests somewhat halfheartedly. I know she loves me, but I can also tell she's just trying to be a good best friend. I shake my head.

"It's your and Scorpius' first Hogsmeade as a couple. You have to go with him." She grins at me, hoping I'd say that. I'm the best goddamn friend in the universe.

"Oh, Rosie, you're the best friend in the universe." Yes, I know. "Maybe you could come with Malfoy and me?" She must really want me to go to Hogsmeade. She's looking out for my social life. I do love Dom, she's a sweetie.

I mean, she's ripped my heart out, thrown it on the floor, and stomped on it. But she doesn't know any of that. It's really impossible for me to hate that girl.

"No," I shake my head, "I couldn't."

"Why not? I like him and he likes me and I like you, so I don't see the problem." She's getting excited now I can tell. I do hate to burst her figurative bubble.

"Um, Dom. Scorpius hates me." It's her turn to shake her head.

"That's nonsense. He just doesn't know you. He's too sweet to hate anyone." I try really hard not to laugh bitterly at her naïveté.

"Sure, Dom." I can't help it, the sarcasm wins out.

"No, I bet it's not true. Look, here he comes now. Let's ask him." Oh God, if I wanted to be humiliated I could just run starkers through the halls.

"Please, Dom. Don't," I beg her, tugging on her arm but she's already waving at her boyfriend. The boy I love. The one who hates me. The one who is about to actually say _out loud_ that he hates me. Scorpius walks over and sits down next to Dominique, giving her a quick kiss. I think I want to cry. Or run away. The second option sounds best, but Dom has her hand in a death grip around my forearm.

"Malfoy, do you hate Rose?" Oh my _God_ I want to kill her. I don't think anyone has ever done anything so _stupid_. He raises a pale eyebrow at Dom and looks at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Don't be stupid, Dominique." This seems to satisfy my cousin who happily chats to him about Hogsmeade. I'm sure as hell not listening to what she's saying and I doubt he is either. In fact, he looks utterly bored. I don't know why he'd even bother dating her. Oh wait. She's half veela, part French, need I say more?

"You could find her a date, couldn't you Malfoy?" Am I the only person on the planet that calls this boy by his given name? Apparently so. Wait, hold up a second. Please tell me Dominique didn't just…oh God she did.

"Dom!" I protest right as Scorpius snorts. I have half a mind to punch him. Or at least flick his perfect nose. Like me getting a date is so ridiculous. Alright, it kind of is.

"No, it's okay Rosie. I'm sure he'd be willing to find someone." Scorpius is trying not to laugh, I can tell. It's nice to see some emotion on his face, instead of a cold stare. But I digress.

"Look, Dominique," I can tell he's searching for the right words, "Weasley isn't really…well I wouldn't say she's really the dating type."

I'm not sure what to think at this point. I can tell he's chosen his words carefully. The real meaning is practically screaming behind them. Weasley isn't the type that blokes are interested in. More or less, Weasley isn't Dominique. Which is slightly ironic considering Dominique _is_ a Weasley.

"You think so? Well, you're probably right. Isn't he, Rosie?" Dom isn't trying to be mean, I know she's not. But still.

"Yeah. I'm not really the dating type." No one catches the sarcasm. Where is Al when you need him? Of course I'm the dating type! It's not like I want to live a lonely existence. It just so happens the boy I want to date is currently attached and hating my guts.

Scorpius leaves after a few more awkward moments, making sure to suck face with Dom before he goes.

"I'll see you tomorrow at nine, Dominique?"

They both stink.

"Albus, why is my life so horrid?" I whine. My best friend doesn't look up from his book or even move from the squishy armchair he's sitting in.

"Because you think it is." I really can't take that kind of response from him. Scorpius hates me; he's proved that much no matter what he said to Dominique. He _also_ thinks I'm not dating material. And Albus doesn't even care. He just keeps reading his stupid History of Magic Textbook like it's the bleeding bible. I think I'm going to cry.

"Rosie are you crying?" I'm not, but it certainly feels like I'm about too. Slight burning sensation behind my nose, watery eyes, stuffy nose. I've got all the classic symptoms of a girl who's about to lose it.

"Don't be stupid, Al." Those words mock me now. I don't think I'll ever be able to say them again. Albus actually put the lame textbook down and walked over to hug me.

"Rose," he tells me in all seriousness, "Malfoy is a git. And Dominique is inept at dealing with emotions."

"H-he said I wasn't dating material," I'm not going to cry now, but it's still embarrassing to admit. Al sighs. Even he knows what that means. He is a boy after all.

"He doesn't know what he's talking about, Rose. Do you want me to beat him up for you?"

I do love when Al goes all soft and cuddly and big brother protective. But I can't let him damage Scorpius. It would be like slapping God in the face after he'd made such a lovely specimen.

"Nah, don't worry about it. I'm fine." And I am. I'll just become dating material. I don't know exactly what that entails, but I think it begins with brushing your hair in the morning instead of throwing it into a ponytail. I should try that. Though I'm not quite sure where my comb is. I should go see Dom. She owes me this much at least.

"I'm going to go see Dom. Don't wait up, Albus." I reach up to ruffle his hair but I'm too short. Oh well. He seems rather flabbergasted. What can I say? Mood swings are kind of my thing.

Standing in the fifth year Ravenclaw dormitory fifteen minutes later, Dom looks like she's about to weep for joy.

"I'd always hoped when this day came I would be the one you came to." Sheesh, I'm not that physically unaware of myself. I shower and brush my teeth and wash my face. It's not like I'm a Neanderthal. I tell her this and she glares deeply at me. Looks like I'm not the only bipolar one here.

"Seriously, Rosie. I was about to _murder_ you in your bed if you wore your hair in a ponytail one more time." I'm not sure whether to be flattered she cares so much or to quickly vacate the premises. I go with ignoring the comment.

"So, what do we do, Dominique?" At the risk of a horrible pun, I don't tell her to work her magic. But she seems to have gotten the idea as I can now see her vigorously digging through her trunk. I'm not going to lie, the look on her face and the gleam in her eyes is enough to make me want to turn tail and bolt from the room.

But I can't do that if I want to…what is it I'm doing again? I mean, what _exactly_ am I trying to prove? Just because Scorpius said I wasn't "dating material". Of course it's all about him. Again. How infuriating.

"_We_ do nothing. I'm going to handle everything. Go back to your dorm and sleep. The rest we'll handle tomorrow." See, if a normal, sane person were saying these words to me, they might be comforting. However, this is Dominique we're talking about. She just sounds creepy and really…well creepy.

"Can I at least have a hairbrush before I go?" She looks like she's about to do have a heart attack.

"You mean you _don't have one_?"

"Can I please just borrow yours?" That's enough of an answer for her. I think she might be about to cry.

"I had no idea it was this bad. Not even the slightest clue. You're poor hair."

"I run my fingers through it," I protest but this response only makes her cringe.

"You heathen," she accuses. Right back at you, you annoyingly gorgeous man stealing shoddy excuse of a best friend. Yeah, hers rolls of the tongue a little nicer, but mine's more accurate. So, take that.

But she's helping me. So I love her to pieces anyways. I'm the most selfless person on the planet. All of this better be earning me some extra karma points. And Dominique will come back as a dung beetle. But Scorpius probably will too, and then they'll meet in a pile of feces and make gorgeous little dung beetle babies.

They're probably one of those inevitable couples that transcend time. Like Romeo and Juliet; Pyramus and Thisbe; Jane and Edward Rochester; Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy; Bonnie and Clyde; Sonny and Cher; Brad and Angelina. The list goes on.

Rose and…Jack? From the Titanic. Yes, because that ended just _spiffingly_. Fantastic.

"I am certainly most not a heathen, Dominique." I turn to leave and snatch her brush from her bed as I walk away. I can practically feel the smirk on her face that seems to be poking me in the back saying 'I told you so'.

Whatever. I'm going back to the Gryffindor Tower and she's not even going to get a thank you. So there.

"Love you, Rosie."

"Love you too, Dom." We're so predictable.

I just had the most bizarre dream where Dominique ended things with Scorpius so he shaved her head. Then, poor Dominique couldn't stand looking like Britney Spears circa 2007, so she turned into an elm tree. Scorpius, then overwrought with guilt, dyed his gorgeous flaxen locks black as pitch.

I really shouldn't be allowed to have thoughts.

"_Get up, Weasley! Or do I have to pull you out of your four-poster myself?"_ Oh look. Dominique has come brighter and earlier than I anticipated. And she brought her dulcet tones with her.

"Did you hear me, Weasley?" She barks again. I kind of want to ask her if her wand somehow found its way up her bum in the middle of the night but then I remember why she's here and think better of it.

"Aye, aye, Sir." I somehow get my feet on the floor beside my bed. What time is it anyways?

"_Six o'clock in the bloody morning, Dominique?"_ I yell at her. And it's Saturday too. How dare she. My roommates don't even stir that's how early it is.

"I know, Rosie. Usually people get up at eight so then can be ready to go to town by 9. However, I decided in your case, an extra two hours wouldn't hurt." I don't know if Dom's bluntness is a virtue or a shortcoming. She's mumbling to herself now and I've just noticed she's got her entire trunk with her. Even for this apparently dire situation, that seems a little extreme.

"Um, Dom? Did you really need your whole trunk?"

"Oh trust me; you'll be thanking me later." Yeah, I'm not too sure about that.

Two hours later, having my hair unknotted by a vicious French veela, shampooed and conditioned and gelled, blow-dried, and finally left down with strict instructions not to touch it if I wanted to live, I was more or less ready to go.

"Alright, that's half the battle." Half? Only half? That whole ordeal felt like an eternity to me. She's trying to force me into some of her clothes now.

"Dom, my butt is bigger than yours and so are my boobs. None of your pants or shirts are going to work." Thank God. I'd rather stay in my broken in jeans and Chucks.

"Then this will just accent them more." I think I want to lock her in her own trunk and shove it down a staircase while it's changing. I may just be the most violent Weasley yet. Is it wrong that I might be kind of proud of that? But I guess this isn't really her fault. However, this whole situation can't go without blame.

Stupid Scorpius. Lovely, brilliant, talented, gorgeous, stupid Scorpius. Merlin, I really need to get out. Maybe date a little. Unlikely as that is. Though Dom is assuring me that won't be a problem once she's finished, which looks like right about now. I chance a quick look in the mirror.

"I am so damn good." Dominique is congratulating herself and I probably should be too. Have you ever heard the term 'from rags to riches'? Yeah, it's something like that, but without the money involved.

Somehow in all the preparations, Dom has managed to have gotten ready as well. She's chic as ever in her leather jacket and pink scarf. And she's probably not going to freeze when we step outside the muggy castle (yes, it _is_ still as hot as Hades' balls in here) like I am. A fitted blazer definitely isn't the way to go in the middle of January.

"You haven't said a word to me, Rosie." Translation: Why aren't you down on your hands and knees, praising my superior skill and knowledge of all things feminine? Well, probably because if I bend over my bum is going to show.

"Thanks, Dom. It's different for me, but I really appreciate it." I can be heartfelt if I feel like it. Contrary to popular belief I am _not_ a heathen. Dominique beams at me, clearly reveling in the praise. She knows me well enough to know that this level of sincerity is slightly unprecedented.

"Alright, Rosie. Stage One of Operation Rosie Sex Bomb is now complete." I stare blankly at her. I know she's a Ravenclaw and being clever is sort of her strong suit, but she's really beginning to make me question her sanity. Funny, I was under the impression that that was sort of my gig. You know, being considered mentally unstable. How the tables do turn.

"Did you really need to call whatever this is," I gesture to my body and its newly enhanced exterior, "something so bloody stupid?"

"Are you questioning me?"

"I guess not."

"Good, we're going now." I blanch at the mention of this. Actually _leave_ the dormitory and let people see me like this? They're going to laugh. Maybe I haven't thought this all the way through. I tell her so but she only makes a comment about not wanting to be late when she meets up with Malfoy.

I guess I can't really blame her. If I knew Scorpius was waiting for me at the main entrance, I'd be jonesing to leave the dormitory and book it down the staircases as fast as humanly possible. I might even forgo walking and hitch a ride on my broomstick, doing a nosedive past the fourteen floors. But that's just me. Traditionally, as a Ravenclaw and considering who her parents are, Dominique is much more level headed.

I don't inherit any of Mum's common sense. And Scorpius somehow got my Dad's uncanny ability to have an emotional range the size of a teaspoon. I think we've both proven that much.

Damnit, Dom already left. And without me. But like I've said, she's got Scorpius on the brain. So do I. Probably more than her too. God, he and I are meant to be together. I just know it.

I grab what my best friend and cousin dubbed 'just the cutest designer bag _evvver_" (No, not Albus), and avoid looking in the mirror as I flee from my sanctuary to peer around the wall at the top of the dormitory stairs. Thank God, it seems most people have headed out early. Only Albus, my dearest cousin who will never mock me, seems to be hanging back.

Oh, who am I kidding? He's likely to take the mick the first second he sees me. Cheeky little jerk. Except for the fact that he's a few months older, and consequentially almost a foot taller, than me.

I slink down the stairs undetected, and tip toe across the room to the squishy armchair that Albus' butt would perpetually occupy if it had the choice.

"Ha. Uh, hey Albus." I don't know why I, loud, obnoxious, socially awkward, sarcastic, temperamental, Rose Weasley, am suddenly acting shy and timid. Okay, I think it might be because I'm totally embarrassed.

Al looks up at me gapes and goes pink, nods once, and sticks his nose back in the book he's reading. Okay….so not the reaction I was expecting. Maybe he's feeling sick.

"Um, Al? What are you doing?"

"Reading." He doesn't even look up from that lame book. I'm beginning to get a little bit offended. I mean, I go to all the trouble to look a little bit nice, and he can't even pat me on the back and say 'Wow, Rosie. You look great.' Is that really too much to ask?

And the tosser isn't even going to Hogsmeade. I know he wants to read all about giants and their political problems, but come on. We're fifteen, nearly sixteen (or at least Al is). You'd think we should be having a little fun.

"Why aren't you going to Hogsmeade? It's not going to be any fun without you, you know that right?" Albus is holding on to his book for dear life and his ears are red.

"You…you really think so?" I look at him likes he's barking mad. And maybe he is. I don't really have time for his strange antics and am slightly flummoxed by the hint of insecurity in his voice.

"Um, duh. You stupid Al?" He drops the book and jumps up, stumbling backwards.

"_Rosie_?" The poor bloke is practically tripping over his own feet as he gets closer to peer at me.

"Rosie? That's really you? My best friend, Rose Weasley?" I'm ready to swat him.

"Of course, you tosspot. Who else would it be?" The pink is back in his cheeks as he mutters something I couldn't really catch. He's fidgeting and doing a whole a whole other manner of pointless avoidance thingies. And the light bulb goes on. Oh my God. Oh my _God_.

"Did you think…I mean, when you saw…_Did you think I was a girl?"_ I'm practically yelling at him now and he winces. I can tell I've hit the nail on the head or whatever. I'm so spot on its ridiculous.

"Well, you _are_ female," Albus deadpans.

"No, but a girl-girl. Like a _girl_." I kind of want to laugh, but Al is probably dying right now.

"I would appreciate it if we could never speak of this again." I pat him affectionately on the shoulder, pretty much the only part of him I can reach without being extremely awkward.

"Of course, Al. I do love you, but I'm sorry. I just…can't see you that way. We can still be friends and cousins, right?" I can't contain the laughter now and nearly collapse on the floor of the Gryffindor Commons. Al is glaring passionately at me but I don't think I care.

"You're not half as funny as you think you are."

"It's no wonder you don't have a girlfriend, the way you just acted. You should talk to Dom. Trust me."

Albus gives me that crooked grin that I know and love before sitting back down to read.

"Alright, Rosie. But hell will freeze over before I go to Dominique. I'll come out smelling like flowers and," he takes a sniff in my direction, "Vanilla."

"Might be an improvement," I snicker at him.

"Go to Hogsmeade with me, Al. Pretty please?" I stick out my bottom lip, even at the risk of smearing my lipstick. Whoa, never thought I'd say that. Lipstick? Me? What a joke. But nevertheless here I am…

Al is pretending to agonize over it, really looking like he's going to refuse point blank. I up the pouty lips to a full on puppy dog stare.

"Oh, alright, _fine_. Let me just grab a jumper before we leave this hell-like atmosphere and brave the snowy streets of Hogsmeade." Aw, Albus Potter is such a sweetie. He really should have a girlfriend.

"Love you, Al" He waves me off as he dashes up the stairs to his dormitory.

I truly do have the best friends. Dominique totally pimped me out, and Albus is being my pseudo date. We're going to drink a few liters of butterbeer, eat a few dozen Honeydukes Finest Chocolates, and try and pretend like we both had a hundred people ask us out, but we turned them all down because we're too cool. In a perfect world, huh?

I'm about to be violently sick to my stomach. Well, probably not. But I'm still as nervous as a candy heart on Valentines. Because I think I might be eaten alive. We pass a few people, mostly girls, who whisper as we walk by. It looks like most people are thinking Albus has a date that no one has ever seen before.

Honestly, a girl takes her hair out of a ponytail, puts on some lippy, and the whole world goes topsy-turvy. But we're almost to the Main Gate where the caretaker is ushering students out to the carriages. I can see Dom and Scorpius meeting up and my heart gives a little clench and I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. But then again, it could be the trousers.

These jeans are so tight I don't think I can breathe. Which doesn't seem like such a bad thing now because if I die from lack of oxygen this whole thing will be over and I can forget my reason for doing it.

Yes, I've reasoned out exactly why I'm doing this. It's not to prove Scorpius wrong (though that would be satisfying too) but rather to impress him. To make him look at me.

I didn't really think the day would come that I would change to try and get someone to pay attention to me. Not even for him. How low have I sunk?

But hey, all's fair in love and war, right? And this is a little of both.


	3. So I've Been Getting into Some Run Ins

Humans were originally made to be naked. Did you know that? I mean, not just at night but like…_all the time_. I kid you not. Seriously, whatever happened to loin clothes and fig leaves? Something easy to move in and breathable…that's not too much to ask for, is it? I express this sentiment to Al, but instead of agreeing heartily with me, like he's _supposed_ to, he laughs. And asks if I have my knickers in a twist.

"Oh, but I'd know if you did, wouldn't I, Rosie? I mean, you're trousers… they're just so tight," And he's off laughing again. Trust Al to find the humor in the obliteration of my dignity. I have half a mind to bring up what I shall now refer to in public as _The Incident in the Common Room_. But I'm the best sodding cousin and best mate ever, so I won't.

"Could you at least pretend to support me in my day of ruin?" I ask, not bothering to look at him, but rather concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. Oh, and also breathing without popping the button off this denim corset. Seriously, all this thing is missing is some whale bone. Albus shrugs and stuffs his hands in his pockets.

"I wouldn't call this your day of ruin, Rosie. Look at everyone," he jerks his head in the general direction of the carriages, "and by everyone…I mean Malfoy." My cheeks heat up at his very name and I fight the urge to glance in his direction.

"Rosie, seriously. Look now or miss the best moment of your life _forever_."

"Oh, stop it Al," I retort, snapping my gaze to where Dominique has just gotten into a carriage, "there is no way Scorpius would ever…" I trail off as I take in his expression. Oh wow. He…he's staring. And not like, off into the distance or anything. Scorpius is actually staring at me, Rose Weasley, awkward and mousy lunatic extraordinaire. I feel like fire and ice is running through my veins as his eyes slowly drag over me.

But then again, the trousers could have just cut off all circulation. I wouldn't doubt it. I'm all tingly and nauseous. I am either hopelessly and ridiculously in love, or I have small pox. Considering there hasn't been an outbreak since we shimmied on over to America and infected their natives, I'm betting on the former.

"Nnnnrf," I manage to squeak out and my hand flies up towards my mouth in an effort to keep any other odd noises from coming out. I realize that my mouth has been hanging open unattractively right about the same time our eyes meet.

He looks like he's about to wet himself. And not in the mentally- challenged- I- can't- control- the- muscles- in- my- urethra kind of way. More like the I've-just-been-caught-doing-something-pervy-and-am-now-appropriately-shocked-slash-in-for-it kind of way.

I'd laugh in utter triumph if at that moment I didn't notice my mouth was still gaping with my hand awkwardly half way up in the air at the same moment he decided to become conscious of exactly what he was doing and glare AK-47's at my face.

"Scorpius are you coming or _not_," Dominique is whining from inside the carriage. I can't see her, but I can bloody well hear her. The boy in question takes a moment longer to radiate hate from his pores, and then gracefully climbs into the carriage behind her. I'm nearly jealous at his fluid movements. I've fallen out of those contraptions on more than one occasion.

"Of course, Dominique," And with that the little door snaps shut with an air of finality, signaling my moment of supposed glory is at an end. I can literally feel my face falling. I mean, I know my jaw was already familiarizing itself with the floor, but now my whole face is. I shouldn't be depressed about it. Not really. It's only my life and all.

"What a twat," Al mutters not very quietly while pulling me over closer to the dwindling string of carriages. Filch, Merlin knows how he's still alive; gives me a lecherous once over before deeming Al and I fit to proceed into a carriage. I shudder and Al looks appropriately uncomfortable.

"Right," I scowl, as our thestral powered buggy takes off, "this is ridiculous, and I've had it." I know Dominique is going to kill me for this, but things have gone too far. I seriously _cannot_ spend another moment tarted up like this. All for a boy. Honestly, I should be shot by hairy feminists.

Better yet, they can induct me. I'll stop removing the hair from my pits and legs, I'll burn my bra and run about with my tits all exposed.

"Rosie?" Albus seems a little wary as I dig through Dom's bag with unnatural ferocity, the thought of my silky white bra on fire looming indiscreetly on the horizon.

"Shh!" I growl at him, not even feeling the tiniest bit of remorse. "Aha!" I yell in victory, "So I've found you my old friend," The hair tie makes a satisfying _snap_ as I weave it through my hair and pull it tight.

"Oh, Rosie. You do know Dom is going to _murder_ you, don't you?" I contemplate for a moment before pulling the hair band out and sliding it over my wrist.

"Yeah, I know. But that doesn't mean I still can't stick it to the man!" I cry, punching the small space of air above our heads. I nearly start singing about 'Suffering for Suffrage".

"You. Are. Retarded." Al sighs, leaning back into his seat. I shake my head at him. Another idea has hit me, cancelling out all liberated breasts related thoughts.

"Never fear Albus. I have a _plan_. Muah." I pretend to twirl a long black moustache with villainous intent.

"I reiterate," He grumbles into the plush interior.

"Don't you even want to know what it is?" I demand. If it was possible, I would have been standing, hands on my hips, toe tapping impatiently, as I attempted to tower over his six foot frame with my slightly shorter 5'3'' one. And trust me; if there are short women who can tower over ridiculously tall men, it's the Weasley-Granger women.

Mum can do it, Aunt Ginny's got it down _pat_, and Nana Weasley can probably cause Grandpa Weasley to have a hernia. We're skilled, what can I say. And Mum and I are the absolute best because we've managed to master it while _sitting down_. Oh, yes.

"I don't have a choice, do I?" Al groans at me. I tower menacingly from my seat for a little added effect.

"Alright, alright," He puts his hands up I surrender and I clap my hands excitedly. Al is simply divine. Always listening to me when I concoct brilliant schemes and calling silly blonde boys on their levels of twat-ness and douche bag-ary. But I digress.

"So," I begin, leaning forward conspiratorially, "I have a plan." He leans in too, humoring me whilst heavily rolling his eyes. I nudge him with my foot to cue him.

"_Fine_," He sighs," What's the plan, Rosie?" I let his half-heartedness go on the grounds that I'm a genius and he needs to hear the call of action, a mix between a hunting bugle and Batman saying, "To the bat mobile, Robin!". Or something.

"Right," I whisper, looking around us to make sure no one is listening in. I see Al smack his forehead out of the corner of my eye, but again, I say nothing. "I call it _The Epic Rosie-Trouser Salvation."_ He looks at me like I'm asking him if I'd like to buy vitamins online. But I'm quite proud of the assignment name I've come up with so I ignore him, as per usual.

"Here's how it's going to go. Since I happen to be appropriately disguised it will be a simple task to infiltrate. Measures of stealth and precaution will still need to be taken, of course."

"Oh, of course," Al mutters. I silence him with a raised eyebrow. That's another charm I learned from mum. We call it "The Threatening-I-Think-I-Just-Pissed-My-Pants-And-Will-Now-Happily-Do-Whatever-You-Command-Eyebrow Maneuver". Albus nearly whimpers in his seat and I smirk. Check and mate.

"Okay, we disembark at the station," I start. "Then we quickly and succinctly make our way down the main street towards the Three Broomsticks. Now, I know what you're thinking. It's a bit risky with so many people but I'm well enough disguised that the mission shouldn't be compromised." I tap my fingers on my knees before continuing.

"Then, as we casually, but still quickly and succinctly, meander towards the downtown area, I will pause and stare in the window of Honeydukes. You will then complain loudly about going to Uncles George's shop. But you _will not say 'Uncle George's Shop'_ under any circumstances, do you understand? My cover will be blown!"

"So, basically we're just walking around Hogsmeade like any other weekend?" I fight the urge to use a blood chilling combo of the towering while sitting and terrifying eyebrow maneuver.

"Then," I plow on, not even dignifying him with a response, "I'll get miffed with your whining, and say something along the lines of 'Well _fine then_. Go ahead to that silly joke shop. _I'll_ be in Madam Malkins. Maybe if I feel like it I'll meet you at the Three Broomsticks after'. So I'll storm across the street, enter the store and buy a new pair of trousers with the galleons I nicked from Dom's trunk this morning." I finish, waiting for Albus' applause. It never comes.

"Well, what do you think?" I prompt, "We'd meet at the Three Broomsticks after, as I've said." I can see the corners of Al's lips twitching and the laughter he's trying to hold back.

"You're ridiculous, Rosie. Was there any reason you couldn't have just said: 'Hey, Al. Can we please hurry and buy me some new trousers when we get there because I can't breathe and all the blokes will be able to see a clear outline of my arse and thighs?'" I cross my arms and lean back into the carriage to sulk.

"I thought it was pretty good," I mutter into my chest. Al grins.

" Oh, it was. And we're going to do it, of course." I perk up a bit and grin at my cousin. He's top notch, really first rate. I'd even go as far to say 'bees knees'. I smile widely back at him. My mood has severely improved since my little run in this morning with Mr. McGorgeous and or Mr. McCold-as-Ice.

I pull back the little black curtain and peer out the window. We've nearly arrive and I can feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins. We're out onto the snowy streets in no time at all, my boots crunching underneath me.

"And so it begins," Al whispers, a boyish grin etched into his features. Merlin, I adore that boy.

"Righto," I link my arm through his and we traipse, quickly and succinctly I might add, down the road. We're getting some stares, I won't lie. Enough for me to hastily remove my arm from Albus'. I certainly don't need any awkward rumors in the morning. Because, much to my dismay, I think people are actually recognizing me. I guess the fiery red hair is sort of a giveaway. And I thought we were being so stealthy.

I stop, right one cue, to gaze into the window of Honeydukes, taking time to look at the chocolate displays. I feel Albus taking a breath to begin his lengthy complaining, but right as he opens his mouth, someone beats him to it.

"Rosie! Great Scott, is that _you?_" Well if people didn't know who I was before, that loud shout of familiarity was enough to do it. I spin around, sliding some on the ice that's collected on the ground.

"Whoa, steady there," I look up into the grinning and somewhat stubbly face of one of my dearest friends.

"Hey, Teddy, you need a shave!" I call to him before hugging him tightly around the waist. Oh yes, Teddy Lupin, Uncle Harry's Godson and practically family. He's my favorite person that doesn't have the same blood as I do. No joke.

"You look good, Rosie. Different, but good," He grins, changing the color of his eyes as he speaks. I blush at his comment.

"Well, Dominique got to me. But I'm on the way to Madame Malkins as we speak to invest in some new trousers with some money that I pinched off of her." He ruffles my hair affectionately.

"That's my girl," I beam with pride up at him.

"Did you get my latest letter," I prod. He nods solemnly.

"I know I didn't respond, but things have been busy at the Ministry…" Teddy's an auror and a total badass one to boot. But I frown in worry.

"Anything I should be worrying about?" Albus laughs beside me.

"Aw, come on Rosie. Ted can handle anything petty criminals throw at him." Albus is in awe of our 23 year old adoptee almost as much as I am. Teddy laughs appreciatively.

"Thanks, Al. But it's more the paperwork I've been bogged down under. Good times." He checks his watch.

"You two wouldn't have time for a butterbeer would you? On me?" I look wistfully down the road where I know Madam Malkins is waiting with a soft pair of jeans that would hang loosely on my hips.

"Well, I did sort of need those trousers…" I taper off.

"Look, Rosie, as a guy, take it from me. Keep the jeans." He winks and my face puts my hair to shame.

"Teddy Lupin, that's enough out of you." He and Al chortle to themselves as I seethe in embarrassment. Are the pants really that noticeable? I'm getting used to them I _guess_. I'm taking shallower breaths and whatnot.

"_Teddy!_" I hear a screech from behind me and pull my hands tightly over my ears. Dearest Dumbledore what was _that_? I peek over my shoulder and nearly choke on the air I'm trying to force into my lungs. Dominique and Scorpius. Scorpius and Dominique. They're standing like…right behind me. I spin quickly so I'm next to Teddy. I hope the feeling that I'm shaking is only mental. Teddy puts a hand discreetly on my elbow as he grins at Dom. I guess it wasn't then.

"Dominique, lovely to see you. Great Scott, you've grown again, haven't you?" That's another great thing about Ted. His endearing use of the phrase 'Great Scott'. Yeah, someone watched a few too many BBC dramas as a kid. He gives her a one armed hug and I feel a little smug. He _totally_ likes me better. Teddy takes a good hard look at Dominique and the present company.

"So, who's your friend, Dominique?" His tone is curious, yet slightly cold. Pfft, like he doesn't know. I've only written to him every day of term since first year about Scorpius Malfoy. But I love him for not being obvious about it.

"Oh, how silly of me," Dom titters, "This is Malfoy, my boyfriend." The corners of Teddy's lips turn down a fraction of a millimeter. I doubt anyone notices but me.

"Malfoy is it? Pleasure," He holds out a hand and the two shake stiffly.

"Lupin, am I correct?" The smooth tones of Scorpius' voice send a shiver down my spine. And I happen to know it's not the arctic draft seeping in through the thin layer of my jacket. I stare at him shamelessly.

"Thought you weren't going to Hogsmeade, Weasley," I hear him say awkwardly. I see a semblance of courtesy here and Dominique is looking smug, so this must have been at her demand. Even so, I turn pink at the attention.

"Erm, I wasn't. But I needed a few things." I think about the looser pair of pants that are sure to be hanging on a rack in Madame Malkins. There are a thousand other things I'd love to talk about with Scorpius right now, preferably alone. However, this tiny little conversation has me soaring on the highest cloud.

"Right. Well, we better go. Right, Dominique?" Dom turns to him and smiles.

"Of course, honey." I practically gag out loud and hack up something undesirable onto the snow. I can see Al is snickering and Teddy has changed his eyes to a creepy red as he surveys Scorpius. I think I just saw Scorpius gulp. When Teddy turns back to Dominique his eyes are back to blue.

"Tell Vic she better owl me from Paris tonight!" Dom nods as she is pulled away by Scorpius who looks over his shoulder one last time.

"Oh, Weasley?" He calls out and my eyes widen. He's addressing me. Oh, crap what do I do? Should I look him in the eye? No, I'll be buggered for sure then. I'll turn into a horrible puddle of mush. But I do it anyways, eyes wide in question.

"Nice trousers," He smirks, and with that he and my cousin disappear around a corner.

"Told you so," Teddy leans forward and whispers in my ear. I jump a mile high, I swear to you.

"Did that just happen?" I whisper back. I look first at Teddy, then at Al, then back again to Teddy. They both nod, as I begin to fully understand.

Yeah, Scorpius Malfoy, boy of my dreams, has checked me out. Twice. And he's _liked_ it. I take back everything I said about these jeans. They are beautiful and lovely and who cares if I can't breathe and or want to die when I wear them? It's all worth it if Scorpius ogles my arse. Twice. And _likes_ it.

I mean, I'm still _never_ wearing them again. Well, maybe just on special occasions. Can you blame me for liking the attention? I think not. Scorpius is only the most amazing person in the world that's not related to me. Besides Teddy of course.

"You still in there Rosie Rose?" I hear Teddy ask as he puts a hand to my forehead.

"I think she's gone into shock. Or a catatonic state," Al doesn't sound worried at all. If I really _had_ gone catatonic that boy better be at my bedside praying for my soul. Because Lord knows with all the thoughts I've had about Scorpius Malfoy in correlation with my pants, well I need all the help I can get. But I digress.

I let out a giggle, very unlike me if you know anything, and throw my arms around Teddy's neck. Also, so very unlike me. Poor Teddy stands there awkwardly (That's usually my role. Huh, who knew?) and sort of patted me on the back.

"Alright there, Rosie Red?" He's got at least a dozen little nicknames for me. Sweet really. I feel like it's his presence here that has brought me and Scorpius together at last. Okay, sure Scorpius and I aren't really together in any sense of the word, but hey, don't rain on my parade. I mean, he totally spoke to me like a minute ago. If that's not progress I don't know what is.

"Rose Hermione Weasley!" A deep voice booms and I turn from my position, which is currently draped around my older mate. I look a little bit down the road and in the words of Teddy, Great Scott! My parents, my _freaking_ _parents_ are standing there, Dad weighed down with shopping bags. Or at least he was. They're now strew about his feet as he has seemed to become very shocked and angry and agitated all in one second.

My mum is kind of shaking her head at him. I might have even heard her mutter, "Oh, Ronald," but I can't be sure.

"Young lady," He yells, while striding over, "just what do you think you're doing?" I've already removed myself from the slightly misleading position it was in. I know how this looks to him. I mean, Teddy Lupin has been around our family _forever_ and Dad _knows_ he's mad about Victoire, but at the same time, he's really the only non family male I relate with. And that's got Dad's wand in a proverbial knot.

"H-hey, Uncle Ron," Teddy stutters. Dad is breathing pretty heavily and I notice where he's looking.

"_What in the hell are you wearing?_"

"Er, listen, Dad," I start but somehow find myself unable to finish. He looks like he's waiting for some kind of…explanation. And a good one too.

Oh, piss on a stick am I in for it now.


	4. You're Insane And Disgusting

"Oh, Ronald calm down." If I had a sickle for every time I have heard my mother say those words to my father? Well, let's face it, I'd be a gazillionaire. No, really I'd be so filthy rich it wouldn't even be funny. We're talking private jets and lackeys that I don't know the name of because their fired so frequently for not making me my extra hot skinny vanilla latte just the way I like it. I guess you could say my dad has a temper. But that's only if you like vastly understating things.

"Hermione, I will _not_ calm down." Ouch, things are going to get ugly. Dad never calls Mum 'Hermione'. Unless, of course, he's in what I like to call an 'über strop', and apparently he is.

"Don't you take that tone with me, Ronald Billius," Mum's doing the whole towering while looking menacing bit brilliantly. Dad looks like he just shrunk about six inches. From where I'm standing this is only helping her.

"Maybe we should continue this conversation, um, elsewhere?" Teddy steps in and suggests quickly, looking nervously around the busy street. I can tell he's looking a little panicky and for good reason. Dad's gone into full over- protective-castrate-anything-male-within-a-five-mile-radius mode. I feel really bad for poor Teddy, truly I do.

"I haven't gotten to you yet, Theodore," my father rounds on darling Teddy menacingly. I can see where this is going and let me tell you it isn't good.

"His name is _Teddy_, Ronald," Mum sighs in exasperation before turning and pulling on Dad's coat sleeve, "Now let's all go sit down somewhere quiet for a butterbeer. On me, okay?" She pulls a spluttering Dad behind her and it looks like we've got no choice to follow. I swallow and shoot a worried glance at Teddy. Family sit downs aren't really a good thing in the Weasley family.

"Albus," I hiss, "Can't you…I don't know, _do something?_" He shrugs as we begin to walk.

"Normally, seeing as this is a 'Weasley Family Sit Down', I'd cut out and go visit Uncle George. However, this looks like it's going to be interesting. I forecast false accusations, extensive grounding, and some pants burning. Good luck with that," He gives me that crooked smile of his, adding a little skip to his step.

"Gee, thanks for that. Divination really must be your strong suit." I can't help but let the negativity pull me down. I mean, Dad's only _really_ been mad at me like…I don't know, six times.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Teddy whispers to my left. He's never had my Dad been angry at him. Ah, well first time's always the scariest.

"Don't worry. I'm nearly certain he won't hex you," I tell him tenderly, giving his hand a squeeze. Dad's head whips around and he fixes a steely blue eyed glare on Teddy, who quickly jerks his hand away.

"Ronald," Mum hisses, jerking him back as she pushes through the front doors of the Hog's Head.

"We're going _here_," I voice loudly. The place was a dump back in the day when Dad, Mum, and Uncle Harry held secret defense meetings here. Now I'd say it's just as bad if not worse. All dusty and empty and whatnot. The bartender fixes me with a steely glare. He's probably old enough to be Professor McGonagall's secret lover. I poke Al in the ribs and whisper my thoughts to him while he pretends to gag.

"Honestly, Rosie that imagination of yours is going to lead to trouble," Teddy whispers back. He's got wicked hearing, that boy. It might be the part wolf thing. Try catching him during the full moon. Poor bloke gets horny as hell. Er…so I've heard. We're just not going to talk about this anymore

"Blah blah Teddy. You're about to get your arse handed to you, so I'd stop eavesdropping if I were you," I reply waspishly and Mum directs the awkward family reunion to a dusty table. There isn't even a bartender. There go all hopes of butterbeer. Gee, thanks Mum and Dad.

"Ronald, do you feel as if you have something to say?" Mum prods gently, ever the facilitator. Dad harrumphs with indignation as he crosses his arms and tries to light Teddy on fire with his glare.

"Daddy?" I try, putting on the soft I'll-always-be-your-little-girl voice to save some of the skin on our bodies. Albus is watching from his corner seat with morbid fascination.

"I..I..there are no words, Rose! He's nearly 8 years older than you! Not to mention _Victoire_. I thought we raised you better than that! And…and the trousers," his voice goes up an octave, cracking like it did back when he was a third year. He clears his throat.

"I thought they were a rather nice change of pace," Mum adds nonchalantly, as she inspects her fingernails.

"Mum," I hiss, "I don't think that's helping the situation –"

"'Mione have you _seen_ them? They look like they've been painted on!"

"Yes, but that's not necessarily a bad thing," Teddy adds nervously. I stare at him in disbelief as Al chokes on his own laughter.

"Have I ever told you that you have verbal diarrhea?" I demand, whacking his arm. Dad looks just about ready to blow his top or something.

"Oh, don't think I've forgotten about you, Theodore! I'll be checking the moon cycle as soon as the wife and I apparate home. And if there is any chance of any funny business going on, so help me Merlin I will hex you so fast your eyeballs will spin out of their sockets. And don't think I won't be in contact with Bill and Fleur. Oh, just you wait young man. Just you wait."

Dad finishes his monologue and I think Ted might have just wet his pants. Sorry old chap, that's what you get when you befriend the daughter of the most ill tempered red head around. Bad move mate, bad move. I join Al in a momentary chuckle.

"And you, Rose Weasley. I hope you understand the gravity of your decisions and the consequences they will have. If you continue this relationship –"

"Ronald," Mum interrupts, "you do know Rose and Teddy are _not_ in a relationship, correct? And you do know they are _friends_, correct? I'll assume that you are also aware of the fact that Teddy has recently become engaged to Victoire Weasley, your niece?" All conversation halts and Dad loses his wind completely.

"You are?" he questions meekly.

"You arsehole!" I yell at him in delight, "I can't believe you didn't tell me! _Me_! In all the letters I wrote not a single mention? Why you sly old dog, you. You dirty scoundrel." What can I say, the bad telly dramas rub off on me easily too. Teddy takes the time to look slightly abashed and grins my favorite Teddy Lupin grin at me. The big flashy one where his teeth look particularly canine. I'd call it wolfish if it wasn't such a horrid pun.

Suddenly a bartender appears from nowhere and champagne is flowing. I swear to God, this happened in like fifty seconds. On moment Dad's giving us the rundown on just exactly what he's going to do to us, the next he's clapping Teddy on the back and sloshing champagne on himself. Mum looks composed as ever, though she _is _grinning slightly. I suspect she's gotten more amusement out of this than even Albus.

My family is the most ridiculous circus I've ever come across. And this is just Mum, Dad and Albus. Don't even bring up my brother (gak not if I can help it), various cousins and their parentage. I think we should probably take our leave now. Mum and Dad our starting to get mushy and reminiscing about their early days as a couple. Yeah, so I just threw up a little.

"I think I'm going to cut out early. Find James," Al offers quickly as he jumps up and bolts out the door.

"Make sure to Owl your Mum, Albus!" My mum calls after him. He waves his hand to show that he's heard her but is out of the bar so fast the door nearly hits him on the way out.

"Oh, no it's not like we wanted to leave or anything," I mutter and Teddy laughs at me.

"Come on Rose. I think we need to have a talk anyways." I gulp. See, I had a feeling this was coming.

"You two go on and have fun now," Mum calls out to us as we follow in Al's wake. Dad waves merrily as well. Funny, ten minutes ago we were up shit creek, and now the 'rents are drowning in champy. It's an odd world. Odder if you're a Weasley.

"I think here is good," Teddy stops uneasily next to an alleyway and tries to look serious.

"God, you suck at this, Ted." I smile at him, but he doesn't smile back. More like a grimace that tried to be a smile, but died a hideous death.

"Look, I probably should have told you sooner about Victoire. But it sort of just happened…" I raise an auburn eyebrow at him.

"I'm not like cheesed off or anything, Ted. Seriously, it's not a problem. I know you're busy. Besides you probably haven't gotten around to telling that many people anyways." He shakes his head.

"No, I haven't. Not really, I mean. Her parents know, and so do Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny but that's about it besides today."

"Well there's no reason to fret then. You're not keeping it a secret or anything." I pat his arm in reassurance even though he's starting to freak me out a bit. He crosses his arm and stares back at me.

"Speaking of secrets…" He tapers off in that really obvious way when someone's trying to remind you of something they'd rather not say out loud.

"What?" I challenge, "You're going to bring that up now? I've completely forgotten about it, Ted. And I thought that was the agreement?" He looks really uncomfortable. Obviously he hasn't taken our little deal to heart.

"Rosie, what happened this summer," I hold up a hand and cut him off.

"Relax, Teddy. I. Don't. Care. I'm going to go find Albus and try and salvage what is left of this Hogsmeade excursion, alright then?"

"But Rosie –"

"'But Rosie' nothing. It was one little kiss –" He gets that crazy look in his eyes before clamping his hand over my mouth and pushing me into the alley way. Oh come on, Teddy. It was _one_ measly little kiss over the summer holidays. And no one knows. I mean no one. Way to throw a wrench into the plot, I know.

"Whoa there, Teddy. No need for a repeat occurrence," I try and joke but he frowns at me.

"That's not funny," he growls and I hold my hands up, palms out.

"Hey, you're the one that brought it up, not me. I'm all for going on and living a blissful little existence. Besides, you're not the only one with a fiancée. I'm marrying Scorpius, remember?"

"Rosie," he chuckles, "You're the most insane girl. I've got to say.

"Well insanity comes with the territory. Hey if our dirty little secret ever comes out you can say I forced you. I'm just insane enough to do it." He laughs before sighing and leaning against the alley wall.

"Wasn't your fault," he mutters as he stares up at the sky.

"Yeah, well it wasn't yours either. Moon phases, remember? Just because you shoved me up against a tree because I was the closest female you could smell –" Teddy grimaces and hold up a hand to stop me.

"Okay, that's enough Rosie. I remember just fine. Much as I hate to," he adds under his breath.

"Does it creep you out that we're going to be cousins now?"

"Rosie Red, you are insane. And disgusting."

"Just because I can find the dark twisted humor in everything," I laugh. "Go on, get out of here, Ted. You should go see Victoire in Paris." Teddy Lupin smiles at me before tipping an imaginary hat and apparating out of the small space. He's an odd one, to be sure. He's got some sort of wolfy gene, is a Metamorphmagus, and sort of took my first snog under the full moon pressed up against a birch tree in my backyard after Uncle Harry's birthday party. Awkward much? For the most part we don't talk about it. But there will be those odd moments when we see each other and just look at one another and _know_.

But hey, you have to laugh it off, right? I walk out of the alleyway and am about to turn down the snowy street.

"I heard that, you know." The voice sends shivers down my spine as it surrounds me. I don't really want to turn around, but I doubt I have the luxury to make a run for it now. At least, not in these trousers.

"What exactly did you hear?" I think I'm being quite clever, pretending like I don't have the foggiest idea as to what Scorpius Malfoy is talking about.

"Oh, turn around already, Weasley. And don't think I didn't just hear you and Lupin."

"Do I hear a please?" I push back, my mood fouling by the second. It's a little daring of me though, you know? Talking back to the man of my dreams, no my life! Seriously. I'm usually in a pile of goop around him. I feel strong! I feel liberated!

"Oh look, I think Dominique is coming back from the quill shop. Maybe I'll just tell her what I just heard." I turn around now and look him up and down. Really, not bad at all. But I shake my head. That feeling of liberation is gone. Hello gooey sticky mess on the floor.

"What exactly did you hear, Scorpius." I see him react to his name and it gives me a feeling of satisfaction. Team Rosie, one. Team Scorpy, zip.

"That you snogged the boyfriend of my girlfriend's sister. Against a birch tree."

"Of all the things you expect to hear on the snowy streets of Hogsmeade," I deadpan.

"Why'd you do it, Weasley? Sound like betrayal to me. I thought you Gryffindors were loyal." He's smirking at me, not really interested in the fact that Dom's sister's finacee had a little shack up moment with her younger cousin. More like he's almost, curious. Or impressed or something. Like he got a really good chocolate frog card.

"You don't know the half of it," I snip at him, taking time to brush past him. Mmm, he's radiating warmth. Not really something you'd expect from a Slytherin, but I guess he _is_ a human after all.

"So enlighten me then, Weasley. Or should I call Dominique now? She did want us to spend some more time together. We can meet her at the Three Broomsticks." I cock an eyebrow at him. He's being awfully charitable today, and I'm too scared to buy it.

"I guess that could be manageable," I concede. Inside I'm about ready to puke up my guts they're churning so badly. I'm freaked out that someone, Scorpius of all people, heard me and Teddy dishing on our dirt. I'm a little aggravated that he's blackmailing me into butterbeer with him for the gory details. And I'm more than excited than words can express that we're walking side by side down the same street.

We pass the quill store where I'm sure Dom is agonizing over inks and parchments, something I know Scorpius doesn't have the patience for. I see Albus sitting with James and Fred and nod my head at him. He nearly spits out the licorice wand he was chewing on. I do love taking Al down a peg every now and then. Even if he does choke on his sweets. Was that too harsh? Maybe a little.

"Here we are," Scorpius says as he pulls open the large wooden doors. The heat from the pub hits us in the chest as we walk in. It smells of spices and fire and cloves, and I'm ready to thaw out my poor little butt. When trousers are painted on they are very rarely warm.

Scorpius and I sit at a table meant for three. I stare at the empty space wishing Dom was here, but also praying that she falls into a black hole in the quill shop. I still can't quite decide.

"So, what do you want to know?" I ask begrudgingly. Scorpius gives one of those smarmy-git smirks, the grins that speak of plotting and treachery and, well let's face it, sexiness.

"Everything, from the beginning, Weasley. Don't leave out the details."

"Are you a perv or something? That's a little creepy." He doesn't say anything, only stares back, turning me to liquid with his smoldering grey eyes.

"U-um," I stutter, "Full moon. Part Wolf," I manage to get out as he looks into my soul (yes I swear that's what he's doing), "Gets territorial. Overactive lust. Rose. Birch Tree. Snog. Uncle Harry's birthday. Eight years difference."

"Thanks, Weasley. That was really in depth" I'll admit his sarcasm is good, but he's got a long way to go before he can compete with the best.

"Oh, you shouldn't care anyways." I scowl at the beautiful specimen in front of me. Despite lacking the full detail he wanted, he managed to work all the answers out of me in less than twenty words. Oh, he's good, I'll give him that. Team Rosie, 1. Team Scorpy, a billion. I think I might be losing this round.

"Oh, I care, Weasley." My head is swimming with his words. What a confusing ass bloke! Jesus, just a day or two ago he was spouting off how he didn't care about Weasley's. Someone needs to remind him of previous bold statements.

"B-but _why_?" I demand, as I clutch a butterbeer he had so gracefully ordered from a waiter. Again, with the evil and somewhat diabolical smirk.

"I told you already. I like the trousers." The butterbeer at the tables next to us boils out from the tops. I'm as red as a tomato, a strawberry, blood, my own freaking hair.

"E-excuse m-me?" I stammer, suddenly aware that the room is a lot warmer than it was a moment ago.

"The trousers," he repeats, grinning away like a madman, "I like them."


	5. Natural Disasters

There are exactly three hundred and eight lines in the wood of this table. So far. I haven't dared to look up from where I'm staring, lest my face still be red. And I think it must be. I can practically feel the smirk radiating off of Scorpius' face. Of course he would use this moment to mock me for all of eternity.

"Are you going to say _anything_?" he drawls, a distinct impression of his father. Or so I'm told. But honestly, that's okay with me. If you saw Mr. Malfoy, you'd understand. If Scorpius grows up and looks like that when he's 40, there will be no problem with our marriage whatsoever.

"I…can't reply to that," I muster, realizing it's quite possibly the lamest thing I've ever said. And if you know anything about Rose Weasley (that's me) then you know I've said some pretty lame things in my time. Including the aforementioned statement with the use of 'in my time'.

"Too bad, I was hoping for a compliment back," I stare at him in utter disbelief. He is such a moody bipolar little Slytherin. Void on the 'little'. Homeboy towers a good six feet.

"Not to be rude," I sniff, "But why are you even talking to me?" He shrugs like he hasn't adamantly voiced his hatred for me over the past five years. Way to go.

"Dominique asked," he says like it's nothing, "And I couldn't very well say no after she had –"

"_Don't tell me!_" I screech, hands covering my ears dramatically. Honestly, I can't know. I just _can't. _Anything that goes on between them in the sanctity of a broom closet is strictly off limits in casual conversation. Or really any conversation. There's really only so much a poor girl's heart can take.

"–started to cry…" Scorpius finished, laughter in his voice. I snap my eyes back to the table and start counting lines again. One-oh-nine. One-oh-ten.

"Oh," I mutter.

"Why?" He asks, "What were _you_ thinking?" His voice oozes with superiority and all that innuendo-y slime.

"You made my cousin cry!" I pointed an accusatory finger at him. When in doubt, or shame, or downright trouble, always change the subject, turn the damn tables. Learned that one from daddy dearest. The old fart can be good for some things I guess.

"Oh, she was faking, of course. Dry as a desert once I agreed to not trip you in the hallway, call you tomato face, comment on your ridiculously red hair, or generally mock you. You know, the usual. Oh and I'm to talk to you during potions. But that's more so we don't fail."

I'm as prickly as a thistle as he lists off all the things he finds inadequate about me. Jerk face. I fight the urge to tell him that some people think blushing is endearing. And that _some_ people, Merlin forbid, find red hair undeniably sexy. Kind of like him. Well the whole undeniably and addictively sexy bit. But there's something I'm more curious about. I doubt my floozy of a cousin could hold this much power over someone as proud and strong and annoying as Scorpius Malfoy. Then again, I'm a little biased.

"Well, as far as I can see, this isn't a Potions lesson and we aren't in the dungeons. So why, Scorpius? Why are you giving me the time of day?" I demand. _Not that I mind_, I mentally add.

"How many times do I have to say it, Weasley? It's the trousers." I cross my legs self consciously under the table (not an easy feat let me tell you) and go back to counting grooves in the wood. One-eleven. One-twelve. One-thirteen.

"Way to make it awkward," I hiss under my breath as he laughs.

"I should have realized how amusing you were ages ago, Weasley."

"Why do I feel like this is an 'I'm laughing at you, not with you' kind of thing?"

"Like it would be any other way." He takes a long drink from his butterbeer, smacking his lips after. I can't help but admire him, even though he's just admitted to mocking me. Against his and Dom's little bargain, wouldn't you say? It is so pathetic that I don't care as long as he talks to me.

"So are we calling a truce?" I ask almost tentatively. So unlike me, I know. But all things considered, and the way this morning has been going, I think I deserve a little caution. Don't worry, though. I'll find a way to throw it all to the wind in the near future.

Scorpius leans back in his chair and I steal a glance at his shoulders. They filled out a bit over the summer. Don't tell me you wouldn't have looked too.

"That depends," he begins, the ever present smirk and my warning signal to run far away ebbing at the corners of his deliciously puckered mouth. Focus, Rosie. Focus. I should probably book it out of here, but I'm rooted to the spot. Like I'd leave his company for half a second. Please, I don't have that kind of self control.

"Depends on what?" I ask, knowing it's what he's been waiting for. Sorry, but the suspense was killing me. And there was no way that boy was going to give unless I played along. Damn him for being all sly and cunning and holding all the cards.

"If you're going to tell me why you and I are engaged."

Me, of course, being brilliant and smart and clever had chosen the moment of his reply to take a hearty sip of my butterbeer. What had he just _said?_ I spit my drink back into the mug and stare at him. I think there are some frothy remains still on my lip but I could care less.

Did Scorpius just _propose to me?_

"P-pardon me?" I whisper and he raises an eyebrow.

"Told you I heard everything you and Lupin said."

Realization comes zinging in from left, right, and center, slapping me dutifully across the face. Oh piss. Oh shit. Oh no. My mind wanders back to the dingy little alleyway, focusing in on details. Teddy was close in the small space, his hand having just covered my mouth. We were talking about our kiss. The Kiss. And I had teased him. He didn't take it so well and got all Teddy-Lupin-huffy on me. So then, me being the clever, witty, incredibly stupid Rosie Red that I am…

"_Hey, you're the one that brought it up, not me. I'm all for going on and living a blissful little existence. Besides, you're not the only one with a fiancée. I'm marrying Scorpius, remember?"_

My life is so officially over. And I thought it was bad before. I scoff now at my own naiveté. If I thought the fact that the everlasting love in my heart for Scorpius Malfoy would be torn apart by my favorite cousin dating him was as bad as it could get, I was wrong. If I thought that passionately snogging an older bloke engaged to aforementioned cousin's sister under the waxing July moon was as horrible as things would go, I was still wrong. And if I thought that the day Scorpius started to begin to understand my feelings would be a relief, oh then I was dead wrong.

This is, as I've said, the official end of me, Rose Weasley. Because as soon as Scorpius finds out that I'm in hopelessly in love with him, so will other people. And I've got a list, a very long one mind you, of people that would kill and or disown me if this fact were ever to come to light. The only people that know of my insane affection are Albus and Teddy. Both of them nearly had a coronary when they found out, and trust me when I say they're the cool blokes of the family.

There seems to be a permanent Weasley-stick-up-the-arse when it comes to Malfoy's. And alright, so Lucius Malfoy and back weren't exactly topnotch. And yeah, Scorpius isn't exactly a peach, but I love him an awful lot so, so what? I would happily become a Malfoy if it meant being with Scorpius forever.

And that leads us back to square one. _He knows!_ He knows that I want to marry him, so he must know that I'm in love with him. Goodbye any hope for Head Girl, graduation, and life. Hello, ultimate demise. Hello eternity of bitter, bleak, aloneness. Warm fuzzies, eh?

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I reply crisply and amazingly composed. Imagine my surprise when my voice didn't shake, crack, or warble. I'm getting damn good at this avoidance thing.

"I heard you," he snaps, clearly taking my new found avoidance as a personal offense, "So there's no point in playing dumb. Now, if you'd be so kind I'd like to know why you think we're getting married."

Um, because I'm in love with you and I really hope that one day we will? Yeah, I can't really say that.

I give a really awkward and unladylike laugh. I probably sound like an animal choking on something, if I were to try and describe it.

"Oh, honestly, _that?_" I roll my eyes for emphasis and even flutter my hands a little. Scorpius raises an eyebrow at me and I can't say I'm surprised. I probably look like I'm doing some ancient Indian mating dance. If only that sort of thing worked.

"Yes, Weasley. _That_." I can tell I've started to annoy him, seeing as how he's no longer teasing me and insinuating that my bum looks good in a pair of tight denim hot pants. I take a breath to steady myself for the outright lie I'm about to tell.

"Well Scorpius, that's actually a funny story. Though it's a rather complicated one, so maybe –"

"I think I can keep up," He interrupted, clearly being snippy with me. Well fine. I'll just have to pull this one straight out of my…well, you know. I clear my throat once, twice, before parting my lips.

"It's a tale thousands of years old, predating Dumbledore, Grindewald, and even Rowena Ravenclaw's illegitimate granddaughter. It goes all the way back to the beginning of the Wizarding feud." I lower my voice for some added effect. May as well make it sound at least somewhat plausible. I lean in a little, searching my brain for a reason, any really, that I would say Scorpius Malfoy and I are going to be married.

"Well?" He demands. Obviously my silence was slightly prolonged. I try and swallow the nerves and make my tongue work.

"_Well_," I say, making it clear his disruption was in poor taste, "There was a time when those of the Malfoy surname and those of Weasley heritage were bosom friends. There was a time in the grassy hills of England where the two families were neighbors." Okay, so I know this part at least is true. Forgive me for stalling, truly.

"Yes, I know all that," Scorpius drones and I feel as if he's about to start tapping his foot in a second.

"You said you wanted the story, didn't you?" I snap, feigning agitation.

"So get on with it," He growls back and I try not to cower in my seat. One, because he's actually kind of scary, and two, because it's horrifyingly a major turn on.

"Would you prefer the abridged version? It's not nearly as epic and not half as audibly dramatic." I question and inspect my fingernails in what I hope is a cool, calm, and collected matter. Really, I'm dying on the inside, my poor guts and heart and lungs all working overtime. In fact I'll probably have to pee in a minute from the stress.

"Fine, abridged it is." He keeps his sentences clipped, definitely showing his full blown exasperation with everything that I am.

"Alright then. More or less there's an old family legend that Malfoy's and Weasley's will join together when they hate each other the most." He looks at me like I'm retarded.

"Meaning?"

"_Meaning_," I sigh, thinking fast, "There's apparently some super mega old curse that a Weasley girl and a Malfoy heir will marry. But seriously, it's like a billion years old and it's more or less a running gag between me and Ted." Scorpius furrows his pale eyebrows as he surveys me. I try not to shake or anything under his penetrating gaze.

"A curse?" I consider smacking my head on the table.

"Yes, a curse."

"A centuries old _curse_…about _marriage?_"

"Yes, a curse! How many bloody times are you going to say it?"

"Are you sure?"

"God damnit, yes."

"Hmm, well I've never heard that before." Oh my God, I want to throttle that devastatingly handsome face of his right through the table, down to the floor, through the crust of the earth, and all the way to America. Can't he just take my really lame attempt at a lie for face value and _bloody move on_ so I don't suffer utter humiliation at his hands and face disownment from the many branches of my wacky family tree? Don't answer that.

"Well of course you wouldn't have. It died out like three hundred years ago. Ted and I just happened to find some really old family books in the attic of Nana and Granddad's house. No one knows. Like I said, it's between Teddy and I."

"Yeah," he scoffed, "looks like a lot of things are." I blush deeply and count a few more lines on the table. Was I at one-thirteen? I'm so over this whole lying to protect my family, dignity, sanity, and let's face it, my life. I have just concocted the most genius lie of history in record time. I deserve some sort of reward, like Scorpius dropping the subject, dropping Dom, and passionately snogging me. Like Teddy did, only not."

"We are never to speak of that," I hiss, "and as far as I'm concerned, _you know nothing_. 'Kay?" He holds up his hands in mock surrender, something I never thought I'd see from him.

"Hey, who am I to question your sordid affairs?" Part of me is grateful to him because having everyone know I had a heavy snog fest with Teddy, the repercussions would be just as bad if everyone found out about my undying love for the aristocratic, serious, God-like, mysterious, Malfoy heir. Trying saying that one ten times fast, eh?

I always end up entangling myself with the wrong sort of men. Men that have loves of their lives, men that aren't quite men and are dating my cousin slash pseudo best friend. My life is painfully depressing and soap operatic.

"Point taken," I mutter, making a grab for my nearly untouched butterbeer. Since the beginning of this little interrogation, I haven't managed a proper sip. A eerie sort of silence falls between us and I pray for some sort of natural disaster to get me out of this suddenly stuffy pub. The bell over the door jingles and I snap my eyes to look at who's entered. Oh, great. Dom seems to be done with her shopping and has spotted us.

She's smiling widely and waving at us. The chair scrapes against the wood as she pulls it out to sit.

"Oh, Rosie I've got to show you what I've bought!" I try to tune her out, honestly I do. Mostly when I'm with Dom it's all about smiling, nodding, and agreeing with her. As she's fishing around in one of her paper bags Scorpius smirks widely at me.

"What?" I hiss, as he looks like he's planning something. That really can't be good news for me.

"Oh Dominique?" His voice is liquid fire, soft and smooth and melting in every fiber of my being. I'd be red hot right now if it wasn't for the icy sense of doom hanging over my head.

Dom looks up, blonde eyebrows raised. Her hair is slightly disheveled and snowy from being outside, but it works. I want to shoot her.

"Your cousin and I have had the most…_interesting_ of mornings. I'm so happy you suggested I get to know her." He's smirking and while Dom might find it sincere I can see right through it to his less than noble intentions. Merlin, he's good.

"I'm so happy! I never thought you two would get along, not in a million years. I'm glad it only took one little Hogsmeade." Dominique claps her hands twice and grins at the two of us. I nearly choke on my own spit. Like hell it only took _one little Hogsmeade_. I spent most of the morning being accosted by my parents, Teddy, and Scorpius. Feel free to throw in an added dash of threatening, courtesy of the love of my life and we're all set.

"Yes, and I am so looking forward to telling you all about it. Now if you'll excuse me for a moment," His voice is silk, cashmere, velvet, honey. I'm going to kill that annoying attractive Slytherin. He really is too good. It would be seriously admirable if it wasn't so annoying.

He gets up from his seat, throwing me one of his crooked smiles, and goes to speak to some bloke situated at the bar.

"Weasley," he nods before sauntering off and my veins light themselves on fire. Oh God, I'm in love with him. Everything about his devious nature makes me want to smack him and snog him simultaneously. I stare after him, thinking Dom is too busy searching through her bags.

"Rose?" Her voice is surprised, yet cool. "What are you doing?" I snap my eyes back over to where she's sitting and make them as wide as I can.

"What?" Shit, did she catch me? Oh piss, I really hope not. Her eyes narrow as she stares at me.

"You were just…you, just now…"

"Huh?" Play dumb, Rose. Play dumb. That's the way, old girl. I swallow another drink of butterbeer, hoping my face isn't still red. Knowing my luck, it totally is. I chance a look from under my eyelashes at the bar. He's still there, leaning casually against one of the stools.

"Oh my _God_," I hear Dominique whisper. I tear my eyes away from Scorpius Malfoy and stare at her, scared out of my mind. _Please no,_ I beg whatever higher powers are out there.

"Dom?" I ask tentatively. Her eyes are wide and she looks like she's about to laugh. Oh wait, no she just did. A giggle escapes her lips and she tries to cover it with her hand.

"You…you _like_ him,"

Well, I guess my prayers have been answered. Signed, sealed, and delivered, my natural disaster is here. God has a sick sense of humor.


	6. Give the Devil Her Due

Who am I again? No, seriously what in the name of all things holy is my name? The world is all swirly and my feet are cold as ice. Oh wait, I'm standing in a snow drift. I look down at a pair of feet. Well, they must be mine, right? At least I feel like I'm attached to them. I wonder if I could just walk away from them. The feet I mean. I could get new ones.

"Rosie, what are you doing all the way out here?" I see a handsome boy running towards me at a hearty clip, his black hair wild and green eyes frantic. "Rosie, do you hear me?"

_Albus Potter_, _cousin, _my mind supplies as he reaches my side, woefully out of breath. That's right. I am Rose Weasley, daughter to Hermione and Ron Weasley. And my best mate and cousin, no not Albus, has just found out that I am in love with her boyfriend.

The world comes rushing back at me with surprising force and my legs wobble a bit. "Oh, piss. Oh piss, oh piss, _oh piss_. This is so very terrible. Oh _fuck_." My hands fly up to my head and tangle themselves in my mess of hair. It had been gorgeous the last time I checked. It must have knotted up between the time I bolted from The Three Broomsticks and now. But who knows? I've blacked it out.

"Rosie, you've got to tell me what's going on? Did some wanker mess with you? 'Cause I'll hex him into the next millennium I swear I will." I take a moment to stare at Albus. "Well, Rosie?" He's impatient and worried and has bits of snow stuck in his hair.

"She knows. Dominique knows," I supply ominously, "Oh and my feet are cold." He rolls his eyes, typical Al fashion, and winds his scarf around my neck.

"That's because you're standing in the middle of a snow drift, you dope. As for Dominique…er," he shoves one hand in his coat pocket and used the other to grab my arm, "I guess she's sharper than we gave her credit for. We can talk about it if you like?" He asks as he gently pulls me along after him back in the direction of the castle.

"No," I snap, "we're not talking about it ever. I don't fancy reliving that moment, not in a million years."

"Right then, Rose. Lemme know how you feel in two million years though, okay?"

"Not bloody likely," I gripe as I try to tune out the memory and concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. If only it were that simple.

_I stare at Dominique, her blonde hair glowing in the warm lighting of The Three Broomsticks. There isn't a snowball's chance in hell that she could have possibly discovered my deepest darkest secret, and I don't say that lightly, in the span of five minutes. I mean, I know she's my best mate, but the girl rarely notices anyone other than herself. It's a character flaw. _

"_W-what?" I stammer as she continues to giggle. I'm perplexed as hell right as to how she's bloody _laughing_. If I just discovered that some other skeezy little tramp fancied my boyfriend I'd right well have her arse cursed to Timbuktu. Not that I'm a tramp, because if you want to know the honest truth I've never even kissed a bloke. _

"_Oh, Rose it's simply just so…cute in a really sad way. You're sort of like a," she drums her fingers across her jaw, "a lost puppy!" Alright, all sense of dread, horror, and perplexity is out the window. Did she just equate me to a lost dog? Love you too, Dominique you shit best mate. _

"_I don't fancy him, Dom! You're being simply ridiculous." I laugh and flutter my hands around a bit like I did earlier when attempting to explain to Scorpius why we are 'engaged'. I look like a fool. Again. _

"_There's really no point in denying it Rose. You're face is so red! I so wish I had Daddy's camera right now. The moment is too priceless." Okay…so what now? I rack my brain for something, anything to say. Anything to make her believe it's not true. But she isn't exactly out for blood. I'm still not really sure why._

"_Dom, aren't you angry?" I prod, "Even though it's absolutely not true? Wouldn't you be mad if I actually did fancy Scorpius?" She raises a sleek eyebrow at me. _

"_It _is_ true, Rosie. I know you better than anyone." What a lie. If she knew me better than anyone, then she'd most definitely know that I didn't only fancy her boyfriend, but that I was bloody well in love with him. _

"_Even so," I concede, attempting to placate her, "I don't. But if I _did_, wouldn't you just be livid? Furious?" I'm asking for it now, I know. But this is something I have to find out. Dominique Weasley is prone to overreaction and I just don't understand. If she _really_ believed that I had the hots for Scorpius, then she should be tearing out my hair that she worked so hard to style this morning and clawing at my eyes that she so meticulously lined. Come on, Dom. Take the freakin' bait. _

"_Puh-lease Rose. It's nothing to get worked up about. He's mine. You'll get over it." I tighten my fists under the table. Hook, line, and sinker, I got what I asked for. I plaster a fake smile on my face and uncurl my fists, stretching my hands out and ignoring the marks where my fingernails have dug into my palms._

"_I guess it's a good thing there's nothing to get over then, right Dominique?" I only use her full name when I'm being very serious and she knows that. _

"_You're not fooling anyone Rose. Not our family, not Scorpius, and not me. Not anymore." She's still smiling like this is some silly little joke. Just some odd happenstance that doesn't really matter. _

"_Dom," I plead, "we're best mates. You wouldn't actually tell the family and Scorpius your ridiculous theory?" She absolutely cannot. I might have to truly commit murder then. I mean, I've always threatened Albus, James, and every now and again a random stranger, but I've never actually gone through with it. This might give me some legitimate street cred. _

"_Of course not, Rosie. I'm not actually stupid, you know. Besides I reckon you're dad would probably kill you and I do enjoy your company from time to time." Dom pats my hand affectionately. _

"_Oh, just from time to time then?" I tease; feeling a little more relaxed now that I know my secret is safe…for now. _

"_You just have to admit to it." I stare back at her, all sense of foreboding that had been washed away is now back, front and center. _

"_W-what? I can't, Dominique. I can't because it's just not true." I make my eyes wider and pout my lips a little, going for optimum innocence. _

"_Oh get over your silly Gryffindor pride and just admit it why don't you?" Dominique laughs again and rolls her eyes like _I'm _the one who's being unreasonable. Right. Of course. I'm going to have to do this, aren't? I am really going to have to say the words that Dominique Weasley wants to hear. Why she wants to hear them, I have no idea. She's just odd like that. Even someone as seemingly perfect as Dominique has her quirks. I guess that's what makes her a Weasley. _

"_Honestly, Dom. What's in it for you?" She flicks that annoyingly perfect hair of hers over her shoulder, rests her elbows on the table, and her chin on her intertwined hands. _

"_The satisfaction of knowing that one, I'm right, and two, that I know my best mate better than anyone. It's benefits both of us, really." _

"_Funnily enough, I don't follow that logic," I snip, crossing my arms and turning my head away from her. _

"_Go on, Rosie," she coaxes, "say it. Say it, out loud." I whip my head back around to glare at her but she keeps on smiling. But this is the only way to protect myself and Scorpius from disaster. I've got to hand it to Dominique. Give the devil her due. _

"_I might possibly…potentially…maybe just a little bit possibly potentially might kind of sort of, but only an tiny eensey fraction of a fraction –"_

"_Holy crap, Rose. Don't have an aneurism. Just say it," Dom snaps in irritation. This just goes to show how well she _doesn't _ know me. If she did, at all, then she would know how big of a deal this is. It's not something I can just say out loud because it's not something even I fully understand. The feelings I have don't come with simple written instructions. And even if they did, I'm sure I'd muck them up. _

_I stare down at my hands and take a deep breath. "I fancy Scorpius Malfoy," I say quietly to the table. It's a lie, but I'm okay with that. I'm protecting Dom by lying like this. Because I don't fancy Scorpius Malfoy. I'm in love with the stupid git._

_And I don't think anyone would really get that, not even Albus and not even Teddy. Sure, they know alright. But they don't think I'm actually in love with the pretentious, arrogant, toffee-nosed, Slytherin with his lame holier-than-thou attitude. However, the fact of the matter is, I am. I'm not going to moan and gripe and complain about it, even though really I should. It's too bad Dom is grinning triumphantly at me._

"_See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" I shake my head and smile, a second lie. _

"_It's such a relief to say it," I add to make her feel like we're invested in some sort of secret camaraderie. Whoops, I guess that's lie number three. She nods back happily. _

"_Just know Rose, that we both care about each other very much. And he's mine." I fight the urge to let a feral snarl rip through my teeth. Honestly, the girl doesn't even call him by his given name. Not once have I heard her refer to him as Scorpius. But I digress._

"_Of course, Dom. Like you said, I'll get over it." Ha, fat chance on that one. I would laugh raucously if it wouldn't make me look insane. Although when has that stopped me before? _

"_Darling," Dom titters as Scorpius appears behind her. He's left the bloke at the bar and has a drink for my lovely cousin in hand. He gives her a tight lipped smile. It's really the only thing close to actual emotion besides anger and annoyance that I've seen on him and that fact alone shocks me to the very core of my being. Maybe…he actually does care for her? Maybe he actually fancies her. And maybe he will actually fall in love with her. _

_His presence alone is enough to send me reeling, and this new onslaught of information isn't helping. I'm trying to get air into my lungs but it's not working. I've got to get out of here. _

"_Right," I say cheerfully as I stumble out of my seat, knocking it to the ground, "it was lovely catching up with the both of you today. I've got to go…find Albus," I taper off as I bolt for the door. I've never been graceful. _

"Hello? Earth to Rose? Rosie? Rosie Red?" Albus waves a hand in front of my face and I smack him one upside the head.

"Don't call me Rosie Red. When did we make it back to the commons?" I add in wonder. Memory lane sure is a long and winding one, I guess. Albus chuckles, ruffles my thickly knotted hair, and takes his scarf back.

"Special privileges for Teddy-boy then? I like you two together you know. Victoire's too stuck up for him. And you're too good for Malfoy." He gives me his Albus Potter thousand-watt smile and I feel my eyes get all watery. I really do love him an awful lot. It's too bad I have to sock him one in the arm for the Teddy comment.

"Hey, ouch! What was that for you raving little –"

"Ah, ah, ah, don't use any foul language around a lady, Allie." He snorts and shoves his scarf back in my face.

"The day you become a lady is the day I'll snog Professor McGonagall, liver spots and all, in front of the entire Great Hall." I wrinkle my nose in disgust before both of us break into laughter. See, Albus Potter is a _real_ best friend. This is what it's like when someone really cares about you. I give that wacky cousin of mine a big hug around the waist and loop his scarf around his neck before turning to go back to my dormitory.

"What was that for, weirdo?" He asks amusedly as he sits down in his favorite arm chair, book exactly where he left it, as I'm sure are his arse imprints.

"Nothing," I smile back. "Just 'cause I love you and all."

I throw myself down on my bed and glance at the clock. It's already getting late, and the students will be arriving back in time for dinner within the hour. I'd better go and return Dominique's clothing before she gets back as well. She wouldn't be mad or anything, I just don't really want to see her face.

I slip out of the blazer and lacy undershirt before putting on one of Teddy's old concert shirts, one that I nicked over Christmas holidays. The jeans are a different story and I literally have to peel them off. Way to make a girl feel good about herself. I fold everything neatly and put it in the oversized handbag Dom had also lent me. It's time for my second trip to the Ravenclaw tower in the past two days. It's kind of a long trek and I'd rather be reading next to Albus. Alas, I'm a super amazing best friend who returns the shit they borrow. Annnnd I don't want to see Dominique yet. So what if I'm a wuss? You don't have be brave to be in Gryffindor…at least, not exactly.

_Loves truest desire is to be requited. In turn what is man's greatest desire from love? _I glare at the place that I know the opening for the Ravenclaw common room will be once I answer this sodding question.

"Absolutely nothing," I snarl in anger. Honestly of all days and of all people to ask such a horrid question.

_A true cynic…_ And with that the opening appears. I'd love to know where the voice comes from so I can strangle it.

"Whatever," I mutter lividly as I stalk past a few first years sitting by the fireplace. They don't pay any attention to me and I don't give a toss.

I'm relatively calm by the time I reach Dominique's dormitory but it doesn't mean I'm not contemplating tampering with her hair potions. No, I couldn't. If you knew Dom that way I do, that's way too low of a blow. I toss the purse onto her bed and pull her clothes out. The lacey undershirt goes in her second drawer and the blazer and handbag hang in her wardrobe.

I pause as I reach the trousers. My fingers brush over the soft denim and I remember how after I learned not to breathe, they really were quite alright. I consider the pros. And I weight the cons. I scratch my head, the hair there still out of control. I stroke my chin. I grin wickedly and leave the Ravenclaw Tower, a pair of tight sex-bomb hot pants tucked neatly under my arm. Hell, after everything I've been through today, I deserve them.

"Rose why are you staring at your pudding? If you're just going to look at it can I eat it?" I glare diagonally across the table at my thirteen year old brother. Honestly, that boy thinks just because he's a third year and allowed on Hogsmeade visits, that he's the shit.

"Back away from the pudding, Hugo," I swat his reaching hand away and take a ferocious bite of it.

"No wonder you couldn't get a date," He exclaims loudly and I kick him under the table.

"Do you want me to tell Mum that last week you jinxed a girl's skirt to fly up in the halls every time someone said the word 'cauldron', you little chauvinist?" Hugo takes the time to look panicked and then quickly finishes eating his own pudding. Ha, serves him right.

"No bloke in his right mind would _ever_ date you," he mutters under his breath, but I hear it all the same. Well, Hugo would be surprised. Why, in my day I've had many a bloke chasing after….aw, who am I kidding? This sad little fact stings even worse because Hugo is probably right. And it sucks because the pig has already had three girlfriends. _This year_.

I am a pathetic excuse for a fifteen year old girl. I should be going out on weekends and snogging boys. But instead I study and read and play chess, not even Wizard's chess, with my cousin in an empty common room while everyone else is out and about having the time of their life.

I now have a new resolution. By Valentine's Day, which is approaching at an alarming rate, I will have a date. And by George I will have my first snog.

"So there," I say out loud and a few people look at me like I've gone mad. Well they should know that happened years ago when I first fell in love with Scorpius Malfoy. But then again, that's something really no one should know.

"Pass the treacle tart, Albus. I haven't had any yet."

And so the scheming begins. I stick my fork into the treacle tart and take a large bite. It tastes sweeter tonight, and I think that's because of my new found call to arms. Rose Weasley really is better when she's got a plan. She also sometimes resorts to using the third person narrative when especially excited. And for that, she's very sorry.

I shake my head and begin to think of the numerous ways I could seduce a fifteen year old boy in the next few weeks. But then again ,why stop there? Why not a sixteen year old boy? Or how about a seventeen year old boy? Whatever I do, I'm fairly certain it's going to involve _The Trousers_.

And maybe at the back of my mind I've got a few ulterior motives. Sure Scorpius noticed me when Dom tarted me up for a freezing cold afternoon out on the town. But how much more will he notice me next weekend when I'm all tarted up _and_ wrapped closely around some stunningly gorgeous bloke? Way more, I'm willing to bet a few galleons.

I swallow the large mouthful of treacle tart and run my tongue over my teeth before smiling widely and sinisterly.

"Uh, Rosie? What's gotten into you?" Albus asks nervously from my right. He knows the look on my face too well. And he knows something big is about to go down and that he will, most likely without consent, be involved.

"Meet me in the commons at 0900 tonight. By your favorite armchair close to the fire. Bring a quill and parchment. Oh and see if you can get Dobby to rustle up some snacks. That little guy loves you." I speak in clipped sentences to get my point across quickly. Plus, it sounds cooler and much more 'spy operative' like.

"Oh Merlin, Rosie. Tell me it's not another grand scheme?" I shush him dramatically as I stand up to leave.

"You will hereby refer to me as Agent Hot Pants, am I clear?"

"Crystal," Albus mutters back, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Perfect."


	7. Monster Girl

"I'm not taking part in this. I'm not."

"Oh, yes you are."

"I don't even know _how_ I could possibly could."

"Neither do I. But rest assured I'll think of something."

"This assures me in no way, shape, or form."

"Don't be a spoil sport, Allie Sev!"

I pace the common room in my lame excuse for pajamas. A pair of rolled up boxers that belonged to Albus last year, an old shirt of Teddy's, and some striped tube socks are not exactly what I'd like to be seen in. But Albus can't get up to my dorm and I'm not about to brave his, not a chance in hell. The Scamander twins room up there with Al and they're effing creepy.

Plus, I don't really know any of the girls in my dorm. I've got Al and Dom and that's about it. James is like a big protector, and Lily is always off with Hugo. Our family is huge. Giant, even. But contrary to popular belief we actually have our own lives at school. Every now and then we'll have a sort of impromptu run in slash get together, in which there is always a scapegoat who's business suddenly has a lot of freckled noses stuck in it. It's usually Lily.

"I'm not being a spoil sport! I just know that look in your eyes and whenever whatever you're planning goes down, I don't want to be at ground zero."

"Please, Al. I need you." I pout and widen my eyes at him.

"Shite, Rosie, don't pull that on me!"

"That's Agent Hot Pants to you," I retort before pouting just long enough to see his resolve start to waver. Oh, Albus is top notch, really. He's got to help me out or I just don't know what I'll do. I mean, I don't know what I'm doing now, but I'll figure it out. I always, relatively, have a plan.

I continue pacing around, ignoring the last of the lingering students sitting in armchairs around the fire. They're used to the Rose Weasley antics and don't even stare anymore…at least, not that much.

I run over the memories I've obtained over the past fifteen years, as well as the last horrendous day and reach exactly two conclusions in quick succession. One, when it comes to the intricate and complicated matters of the opposite sex (including mating, dating, and flirting rituals), I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, and two, neither does Albus. Oh, we are so buggered.

But, maybe that'll be half the fun, and maybe if we pool our limited knowledge about those pesky illusive members of the opposite sex, we'll get somewhere. Maybe. I've never been the high hopes, optimism type of girl, but I might give it a try. Maybe.

"Rosie," Albus snaps his fingers in front of my face and steps on one of my toes.

"Agent Hot Pants, you nasty codger with fat feet!" I remind him, "Ow, what in the hell…" I taper off violently, hopping up and down on one foot whilst nursing the toe of the other. Albus plops down into that favorite arm chair of his, the one with his arse imprints forever squashed into the stuffed fabric, and opens a large book. He pushes his glasses up his nose before regarding me serenely.

"Is that all for tonight?" He asks, thumbing through the thin pages. I can't believe this kid. This, older, taller, slightly wider shouldered, kid. I toss my hair dramatically before pointing a shaky finger at him.

"We shall reconvene tomorrow. Agent Hot Pants, over and out." And with that, I turn on my heel and stalk, more accurately hibble-hobble, out of the common room and up the stairs to my dormitory.

I throw the door open dramatically and observe how all the bed hangings are drawn and not a word of complaint comes as I slam the door. After four and a half years of living with moi, Rose Weasley, the roomies have learned to put silencing charms around their four posters. This fact makes me smile in satisfaction and I open and slam the door again, extra loud, just for kicks. I hum a jaunty little tune and moonwalk over to my bed.

I sit on my bed, but immediately notice a dark presence in the room. I gulp and look up towards the bed next to mine. She's sitting there, curtains open, still in her uniform. It's after ten. She's not really doing anything, just simply sitting there, staring at me.

I think she might just be the scariest girl in our year. I'm not really sure why. She's short, shorter than me, but she gives me the willies. I reckon it's her eyes. They're this weird color, totally off. Like, they're this weird brown… the shape's all wrong too, rather like a cat, and they stick out from her face 'cos she's so pale. I'd say pasty but that seems a little mean. Alright, she's damn well alabaster colored. I can see the veins trailing webs under her skin. Normally I'd never get close enough, but one lesson during third year I got stuck next to her. I practically died. She turned to me, and in this kind of scratchy voice asked if she could share my ink. I nearly wee'd in my britches.

"Oh, hello Rose." I flinch as she openly acknowledges my presence and look everywhere but at her. I try not to think about how I sleep in the same room as her. This isn't an easy feat when her bed is right next to mine. Not easy at all.

"Right, 'ello…" I trail off, suddenly remembering I don't even know her name. Shite, hopefully she couldn't tell. Then the raven haired girl does the most peculiar thing as I stumble over myself, looking for something to say. Something I've never seen her do, not ever. She smiles. And I'm nearly blown away. Her entire face sort of lights up if you will. Sure, there's still absolutely no color in her cheeks, something that nearly sends me into a jealous rage, however I hold back, but she's grinning, her lips breaking to show glaringly white, albeit a little crooked, teeth.

"I hardly ever see you in the dormitory," she continues, and I find I'm getting used to her voice, "usually it's just Ella and the others mooning over themselves." I search my brain for images of the girls we share a dorm with and I come up empty handed. All I see are the closed bed hangings. If I had my way, I'd demand my own private room. You'd think with all my Weasley-Potter-Granger power, I'd have some sway, but it's a no go.

"Er, I usually try to avoid…gets a little stuffy, you know?" Outright lie, on my behalf. I don't care who's in the dormitory or when. I just don't want to have to force pleasantries. I've really only ever been good at it when it comes to Dominique. And that, let me tell you, has come in quite handy. So why am I trying to be cordial to…fuck, I still don't know her name. Maybe because I'm worried she's into some sort of African voodoo and will curse me in my sleep. She looks the type.

"I'm sorry, this is going to sound utterly naff and just really…you'll think I'm a complete arsehole…" I don't know why I'm bothering, honestly. But curiosity's got me. She raises a thin black eyebrow and waves a pale hand to urge me on. After all I've been through; African voodoo seems like a walk in the park. Nay, a leisurely stroll.

"Yeah, okay what's your name?" She smiles, breathtakingly, again, and I edge backwards on my bed. The currently unnamed girl does the same, only with some sort of unseen grace, crossing her legs Indian style.

"Sarah Samuels. Has a ring, don't you think?" I stare a little longer and realize she's quite pretty. It's a really odd, utterly strange, and honest to Merlin creepiest thing I've ever come across kind of pretty. By the look of Sarah Samuels, she should be dressed in black and lace, sitting by a mausoleum. But instead, she's sitting opposite me, legs tucked under her, twirling her Gryffindor tie in one hand.

"It's nice," I offer, secretly feeling like she has the name of some painfully famous actress. And she's right. It _does_ have a ring. It's the double 'S' alliteration thing. We sit in silence for a little bit longer but it's not awkward. I mean sure, I'm slowly getting over my whole "creeped out" stage, but it's not like we're particularly looking for anything to say. And I sort of like that.

Oh Merlin, she's so bloody _weird_. I feel very nearly normal. And sort of cool that I can sit in, dare I call it compatible, silence with the most terrifying girl in all of Hogwarts. We both sort of lie back on our beds and stare up at the canopies. It's quiet for about seven more minutes until she breaks the silence.

"You wouldn't happen to be particularly ace at transfiguration, would you?" It takes me a minute to adjust to her voice. It's not coarse or unpleasant, you see. Just different because it's scratchy and sort of lyrical at the same time. I turn my head and look at her, and fight the urge to tell her I'm sort of ace at every academic subject I've ever come across.

"I'm alright," I shrug and she sits up to survey me from behind wide eyes.

"I need someone utterly brilliant. That could be you, yeah? I could really use an O on the next test…" I too sit up and cross my arms. I look her up and down. I turn my head from the right to the left. I make a few odd noises like I'm thinking. She waits the whole time, not even shooting me dirty looks. The monster girl is honestly waiting desperately for my answer.

"I think I know someone." She smiles at me again, and I feel like I'm the only person in the room (I am, but this is metaphorically), like I've just saved her whole life, like I've won a million galleons, like I'm the only person that matters in this whole big world. And let me tell you, it's the best high I've ever had. Well, the only high really.

"Excellent," and she's back to being cool, calm, collect, and downright intimidating. I gulp inwardly as I stare at her. It's like sitting in a room with a gothic fairy that could turn on you any second. I hide behind my hair a bit and realize she's still looking at me.

"So, is that all?" I ask, sounding quite like I'm not about bolt from the room. Sarah cocks her head to one side, still pulling on her bloody tie.

"Yes, that's all. I'm really only talking to you to use you shamelessly for your apparent knowledge in transfiguration." I gasp out loud. Not because she's said this, but because her voice was so dry, so sarcastic, so Rose-Weasley-approved witty. Could she actually be…funny? A test, perhaps.

"I knew it all along. You, Samuels, are a fraud. I have exposed you."

"Oh, but of course. Because me admitting something without coercion is the same as _you_ exposing my dastardly plot." I gape at her in wonder and adoration. I have found a kindred spirit. I didn't think there was anyone in the world that could match me in sarcasm and deeply sardonic humor.

"I'm so glad you see things my way," I playfully snip before leaving my new found acquaintance for the loo. As I brush my teeth at the old sinks, something so genius it should be illegal comes to me. Sarah Samuels is hands down the weirdest girl I've ever come across. And coming from someone like me, that's certainly saying something. She looks completely ethereal and has the uncanny ability to make me want to run away and talk for hours simultaneously.

But despite all that, I've come to a decision. Sarah Samuels will be the latest addition to Agent Hot Pants' diabolical plan to overtake Scorpius Malfoy, and eventually the world. Oh, it sounds brilliant, doesn't it? I know the girl can handle it and it's bound to be at the very least entertaining. So, why not? Truck loads of people, okay three, already know about my raving mad infatuation with sweet, darling, toe-rag Scorpius Malfoy, so what's one more?

***

"I've found you a tutor," I mutter excitedly as I pass Sarah at the table the next morning. She looks up from her porridge and raises an eyebrow.

"You're not going to do it?" She asks, and I shake my head, sending her a coy smile to let her know I've got something in store.

Which I do. Something much better that'll give me some entertainment when everything else goes pear-shaped. Not that is hasn't already. Please refer to the recent past where the love of my life becomes my Potions partner, but oh fun fact: he hates me. Then, dates my best mate. _And,_ interrupts a sordid moment between me and my cousin's finance, who is, consequentially, the older sister to my best mate. Next, he acts all cheeky and sort of sweet in a conniving and manipulative and despicable, hateful way to con the whole story out of me. Let's not even talk about how his stupid cow of a girlfriend (oh wait, that's my best mate) found out I want in his trousers and then made me say it out loud and laughed.

I'm going to become a nun if one more horrid thing happens to me, I swear to Merlin I will.

"Common room, tonight at eleven."I give a small sigh and a little salute to Samuels before making a beeline for the seat next to Al at the end of table.

"For the last time, Rosie, I'm not helping you. I can't condone this sort of behavior. I don't even know what it entails, but it can't be good. It never is." I glare at him from the corner of my eye and grab a muffin as he gets his knickers in a twist.

"Agent Hot Pants, Al. Get it right. And I need you for this operation. I've added another Operative, who I think will seriously aid us in the future. We've got a sort of mutual agreement. Or, at least we will." I grin, one that reeks of all the things I'm conspiring, and hand Al a folded bit of parchment I just scribbled a few notes on. He unfolds it, scans it quickly, and lets a baffled expression form on his face.

"The common room, tonight at eleven, with my transfiguration textbook? This reads like a playing card from _Clue_. What's next, Colonel Mustard?" I give him the benefit of one short laugh and shake my head.

"No, that's where you'll be meeting the new Operative. You shall test their loyalty, make sure they're good and hooked in, and then finally you shall debrief them."

"On _what_, exactly?"

"Well, the diabolical plot, of course!" I roll my eyes at the poor bloke. I feel like he's been a bit slow on the uptake lately.

"Oh, will I actually be informed of what this 'diabolical plot' _is_, before I 'debrief the new Operative'?" I glare at him and take offense at his hand gestures.

"The year two thousand called and they want their air quotes back," I snap, "And yes, you'll know the plan. It's actually very simple. I find a unbelievably attractive specimen of the male persuasion, wear the trousers I nicked from Dom, put on some lippy, brush my hair, parade around in front of Scorpius, drive him mad with jealousy, get him to chuck Dom, and then we'll be together forever." I nod sagely as I finish and try to ignore the gob smacked look that's on Al's face.

"And you wonder why I don't want to help you! This is mad, Rose. Utterly and completely _mad_! This like a bad American film. Are you going to spike the punch at Prom, too?" I stare at him.

"You know way too many muggle references. I can hardly keep up. And you _will_ do this for me, Al. I'm pulling the family trump card." He moans and drops his head to the table.

"Rosie, Scorpius _hates you. He hates you_. Do you understand?" I bite my lip and look Al square in the eye.

"We're meant to be together, Al. I swear, we are. He just…well just doesn't know it yet." He smiles lightly at me.

"You know where'd you'd be without me, right?" He gives his shaggy black hair a shake.

"In a ditch, covered in petrol, on fire, I'd expect." I give him the wicked Rose-Weasley-has-truly-lost-it grin and reach up to pat him on the head. He elbows me in the ribs and stuffs an extra bacon sarnie in his book bag.

"Let's go to Potions," he proclaims, spraying crumbs in my face. I'm about to owe Albus Potter not only my first born, but probably also my soul, so I don't even say anything.

***

"Knotgrass, Weasley! Knotgrass!" I flinch and hurry to the supply cabinet as Scorpius yells.

"Tell your slave driver he's being an arse," Sarah Samuels hisses to me as I pass. Her partner is a seedy looking Slytherin boy who seems a bit oily. I shrug as I hurry past her again, this time with the proper amount of knotgrass, and return dutifully to my love's side.

"Here, Scorpius," I pant, slightly short of breath from dashing across the dungeon and back in about two seconds flat.

"You seem awfully out of shape for a Chaser," he drawls as he finely dices the knotgrass and tosses it into the cauldron, a pinch at a time.

"Yeah, well you seem awfully retarded for one of the top students in our year!" I shoot back, my face scarlet. I shudder inwardly, trying to console myself after one of the worst comebacks of the century. Scorpius throws the remaining knotgrass into the cauldron and actually laughs.

"I think there was a compliment buried somewhere in there. Don't do it again, Weasley. We both already know how fantastic I am." Oh my shitting hell, did he seriously just say that? I'm in love with the most egotistical prat on the face of the sodding earth. I sure know how to pick 'em. Please excuse me while I go throw myself off the astronomy tower after impaling myself with a telescope or strangling myself with a star chart.

"I am blinded by your ego," I growl, honestly offended, as I dump some pixie dust into the cauldron without looking.

"Oh, trust me, I can tell," he replies waspishly, all trace of humor gone from his voice.

"What's that supposed to mean, you pompous –"

"It _means_ you just dumped the key ingredient to this potion all over the dungeon floor." I look into the cauldron that should be a sparkling periwinkle, but it still smells strongly of grass and eggs.

"Oh piss, do we have time to get more ingredients?" Please don't hate me, Scorpius. Please don't hate me anymore than you already do. He raises his eyebrows, almost as if he's heard my silent plea.

"No, _we_ do not. You, however, better hurry your arse up and get the ingredients so I can do all the work. Again." As handsome as this boy is, he's sure a handful. And an annoying bugger. As if I don't do anything to help our grade. I am the heart and soul of this unlikely tag team, considering Scorpius doesn't seem to have either. No, that's not true.

If I didn't pay such close attention to him, I would miss all the little things he does for people. You thought he didn't posses a single redeeming quality, didn't you? Well, let me tell you, he does. I wouldn't be so helplessly in love with him otherwise. He's very discreet though. So discreet no one even notices him doing it, except for me. Crazy, little old me. Eccentric, hair brained, spastic me.

He does things like…specifically not picking on the younger grades. He mutters counter curses and jinxes in the hall if someone gets hexed. He sends anonymous sugar quills to lonely girls on Valentine's day. Never saw it coming, did you? Yeah, there _is_ a secret sweet side to Scorpius Malfoy. He just makes sure not a soul sees. Except for me. He's not as sneaky as he thinks he is.

"I bet I could do it just as well as you, Scorpius. No…_better_," I challenge. If he thinks he's better than me, which I know he does, he is severely mistaken.

"You willing to put money on that, Weasel?" He snarls back at me, but I can see the amusement and excitement in his eyes. It's quite possibly the greatest moment in our relationship to date. I mean, yeah we're screwed up; He hates me, and I love him for it, but it's still a relationship –dysfunction at its highest.

"No, but if I win I want you as my own personal slave…for a week!" I nearly clamp my own hand over my mouth. Where has this boldness come from? Nowhere, I decide. It's just me being insane as per usual. But, the more that I think about it, the more I like it. He'll be close to me for a whole week if I win, and of course I will. No one's ever beaten me at Potions, not even Al, not ever.

And I can see it fitting nicely into the diabolical plot that's developing in my head a little bit more each minute.

"Like a sex slave?" He flashes a crooked, evil, smirk my way, jarring my thoughts and lighting up my face to blend in with my hair. Maybe it's not that noticeable.

"N-no," I stutter, attempting to shake the disappointment that the ball is back in his court. He's always had that uncanny ability to let me feel as if I'm winning, but then pull it all out from under me with a doubled-edged grin, a flirtatious quip, and finally a sharp and barbarous remark.

"Good thing, tomato face. 'Cos I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole." Ouch. Yeah, that's the final crushing blow. I don't even dignify him with a response. It's funny to him, but he just stabbed me right through the heart with that ten foot pole he's never going to touch me with.

"Chicken," I mock, arms crossed, and he glares at me, his normally icy grey eyes on fire.

"When I win, you're going to be kissing my feet in front of the entire great hall. You're going to announce just how much better than you I really am. Got it, Weasley?"

"We'll see about that," I retort. He sticks out one of his hands and I stare at him funny.

"Shake on it," he growls, obviously offended my lack of know-how. He grips my hand firmly in his own and pumps it up and down once. I hold my breath as his hand is wound around mine, my heart pounding and doing all sort of crazy maneuvers inside my chest.

"This will put you where you belong, Weasley. At my feet."

I storm to the ingredients cupboard, anger making my steps quick and aggressive. Stupid, stupid, git. Stupid, stupid, me. I grab an extra cauldron and steal an empty desk. I've got about fifteen minutes to make a killer version of this potion, and Merlin be damned I'm going to do it. I've always loved a challenge, just like this potion. Just like Scorpius.

My eyes take on this wicked sheen as I light the fire under my cauldron and wait for the water to boil. I can tell because I've just looked over at Albus and he's looking for the nearest, and only, exit. Yeah, Scorpius Malfoy doesn't stand a chance. Not now, since he's pissed me off. And let's be honest, not ever.

Seventeen minutes later, Slughorn's giant bowl-full-of-jelly stomach makes its rounds. The fat old walrus peers into the cauldrons, either making a face or waving his hand. Hand movement equals good, face equals fail. And so it goes on. Face, face, hand for Samuels and one for Al, face, hand, face, face. Scorpius gets a hand and smirks widely at me, convinced of his victory.

Finally, Professor Slughorn reaches my somewhat secluded desk. He leans over and peers into my cauldron, not even bothering to comment on how my partner and I have split up. He stares into the pot, gives a sniff, scrutinizing it further. At long last, he makes a face, but it's one that tells me I've won. He's smiling widely and clapping me on the back.

"Brilliant, truly brilliant, Ms. Weasley! If I didn't know better, I'd swear your mother was standing here right now!" I smile in return.

"Thank you, sir." He nods, all his giant chins wobbling.

"Yes, yes. But please continue to work with Mr. Malfoy. In comparison, he desperately needs it…" I laugh along with the great beast of a man who's chortling to himself and stick my tongue out at Scorpius as soon as he's turned his back. Yes, just as I knew it would be, victory is mine.

"This isn't over, Weasley," Scorpius snarls at me as soon as I arrive back at our desk to collect my things.

"Too right, Scorpius. It'll be over in a week. After you've attended to my every whimsical desire, my every miniscule need…yes, _that's_ when it'll be over." I can't help it; I've got to rub it in his face a little. Its high time Rose Weasley has stepped up and looked Scorpius Malfoy right in the face and put him right in his place. I adore the wanker, true story. But something really ought to be done about that ego.

***

After a few good long hours in the library after supper tonight, I'm ready to head back to my dormitory and get some sleep. Hopefully Sarah has been debriefed in both major evil schemes and today's transfiguration lesson. I put a few more books away and turn off my desk lamp before lighting my wand. What? The Librarian lets me stay here after hours. Don't judge me.

After walking back, I mutter the password to the Fat Lady and step through the portrait hole. The fire is hardly anything but embers and it's dark. There's just one or two seventh years sitting at tables and studying. NEWT year really must be hard on them.

I don't see anyone else, so I'm assuming that everything went swimmingly with Al and Sarah. I'll just pop upstairs and have a high class debriefing session with her. She's heard it from Albus, but she'll need the real details, the quiet secrets of a maiden's heart, from me.

I open the door to the dormitory, take one look at all the closed bed hanging and slam the door. I smile in satisfaction because I'll be honest, that never gets old. I'm about to do the obligatory moon walk to my soft, warm, lovely four poster when a flurry of black hair and white cloth comes flying out of nowhere.

"Aaack! What the bloody –"I go crashing to the floor, not very comfortable when it's stone, might I add, and look up into the face of a frantic Sarah Samuels.

"How. Could. You," she pants, eyes crazy and hair even wilder. I think I'm going to die. I really, truly do. And not from embarrassment as per usual. No, this time I am actually going to be murdered in my bed. Okay, not _in_ it, but close enough. The little gothic fairy has turned on me, and there will either be lots of needles in a little Rose Weasley voodoo doll, or I'll promptly be smothered to death. For someone relatively tiny, she's kind of heavy. Maybe that's just because she's sitting on me.

"W-what do you mean?" I whimper, trying to think of the things I might have done to offend her. Instead of going all psycho killer (I mean more than she already has), Sarah jumps up and starts pacing before throwing herself down onto her bed. She's yelling into the pillows and seems to be having a very colorful conversation.

"Um, Samuels?" I try, sitting up and peering over her footboard. She turns her head and regards me from behind her cat-like eyes.

"What do you know?" She asks, voice low and ominous. I shudder inwardly but quirk an eyebrow all the same.

"…Know?" Was there something in the pumpkin juice tonight? Or maybe it was the chicken…

"Yes!" She explodes, "_What do you know?_ I go to the commons at eleven at night with my transfiguration book, half expecting some super nerdy fourth year that worships you and has memorized all the textbooks up to sixth year, but instead, do you know what I find?" I smile sheepishly at her and drag myself up to my own bed to face her.

"About that…sorry I sent Al, he's really just my messenger. He's always been ace at Transfiguration though. I've had Potions and Albus has had Transfiguration. It's just how it's been. So of course you see how he would be the ideal candidate?" She narrows her eyes at me.

"I happen to have it on very good account that you just wanted to finish your Defense Against the Dark Arts essay early. And you left me, alone in the common room for over an hour with…_him_." She wraps her arms around her knees and rocks back and forth, hair shrouding her face. I start to get a little peeved and raise my voice.

"Hey, you have a problem with my cousin?" I can't help it, after all the poor bloke's gone through for me. Best mate and family, to the end I'm on Team Albus. She looks up at me, wide eyes even wider, lips red and trembling. She's quiet for a good three minutes, just staring at me.

"No," she whispers, so quiet I could hardly hear her, "not exactly." Her cheeks are red as she stares at the wall, the ceiling, anywhere but me. Sarah keeps rocking back and forth, her white nightgown bright in the dim room. The light bulb in my head goes on. The penny drops. I stare at my newest cohort in awe, in shock, in quiet admiration.

"Sarah, you wouldn't, by some chance, happen to fanc –"

"Oh, I'm so dreadfully tired! Thanks for helping me with Transfiguration, Rose. Oh, and I promise to help you woo Scorpius Malfoy and take over the world as long as you supply me with chocolate. See you in the morning!" And with that, Sarah Samuels rips back the covers and snaps her bed hangings shut.

I smile widely before undressing and climbing into my own bed and drawing the hangings. This day has been full of surprises, each better than the last. I've formulated an evil, diabolical, maniac plot to seduce the love of my life. I've engaged in a Potions competition so fierce that involuntary servitude was on the line. I've helped a fellow housemate and soon to be friend. And I've just realized that this new friend has more than just a few creeptacular quirks in her personality.

Because she is utterly, and hopelessly, in love with my cousin, Albus Potter. And I reckon she has been for a while.

Think I don't know? Trust me when I say I do. It was the crazy look in her eyes when she was sitting on me that tipped me off. I would know that look anywhere.

***

A/N  
Okay, so that's the end of chapter 7! I hope you enjoyed it, and I did make it a bit longer in apology for my prolonged absence. My strep that I had went away, and then came back as an even nastier mono. I am, however, completely cured.

If you still like this story, I'd like to hear from you and critique is always welcome!


	8. A Little Rough and Tumble

Have you ever just sat and watched a person that's head over heels in love with someone who has no idea? Well, I'd suggest it. It's a bloody good time. I guess what I mean is that it's refreshing. I'm usually the one pining away from behind a textbook as the boy who has so keenly captured my heart sits anywhere from fifteen to a hundred feet away.

But right now, it's a different scene. I'm sitting across from Al and he's tangling his hair with one hand and fiddling with his quill in the other.

"Here, try this bit here. You're decent on application and execution; we just need to work on your theory." I grin madly as Sarah Samuels buries her head deep in the text and turns pink. She's reading like her life depends on it, and maybe in some twisted way in her mind, it does.

Good old Al is quizzing her now and I think she's doing quite well, but her poor face is heating up, not so unlike mine. I can't help but grin manically in minor satisfaction. I spend a few moments mindlessly answering charms questions and staring at Sarah Samuels attempting to talk to Albus.

"C-can't you just sort of do a flick thing and then it works?" Albus tugs on his hair a little bit more as she stares at him with those giant eyes.

"No. I've explained this. It's more than just pairing some wand movement with a Latin phrase."

"It isn't," she argues quietly and Albus removes his glasses, a sure sign he's about to get into it with this girl, and probably not in the way Samuels dreams of. I smile distantly, hoping I'm invited to the wedding.

Suddenly, because that's the only way it happens when you're watching the entire library out of your peripherals, a flash of blonde hair enters my range of vision. And let's face it, I would know that unkempt hair that probably took hours to style anywhere.

"I'll be back," I say vaguely and Sarah's hand flies across the table to clamp around my wrist before I can even push my chair back to stand.

"What are you doing? Are you leaving?" Her scratchy fairy voice is fraught with worry as Albus flips through his book, not even paying attention.

"…Yes?"

"No, I'll go stalk him," She whispers, "It's what I'm here for anyways."

"Aren't you here to learn transfiguration from the fittie you're sitting next to, your opinion not mine, because you're failing?" She throws me a dangerous look that almost makes me let a little pee out. Almost.

"I can multitask." And with that she's out of her chair and behind a few shelves with such a grace I nearly want to strangle her. But then my carefully laid (alright haphazardly thrown together) plans would all be for naught. I turn and stare at Albus.

"So…what do you think?" My cousin looks up at me from the transfiguration material he was trying to impart on Sarah.

"What do you mean?" He pushes his glasses up his nose and flips another yellowy page. I hope he's kidding. If he hasn't caught on to Sarah Samuels' blindingly eerie infatuation I may just have to stupefy myself directly in the temple and see what happens.

"Samuels? My newest recruit?" I clarify, drumming my fingers on the table as I try and gauge his face for a reaction. But it doesn't even move. Not even an inch.

"She's weird," He replies, matter of factly, and flips another page.

"Hey now, don't judge a book by its cover," I snap waspishly. Hey, my friend means only I get to say she's the creepiest thing this side of the pond.

"Try telling that to the restricted section," was the mumbled reply I got.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing. I don't know her."

"You have an opinion, I can smell it! And don't try to lie. Albus Potter always has an opinion." I poke him with my quill leaving an ink splatter on the arm of his crisp white shirt. OCD boy glares at me but let's face it I can tower menacingly whilst sitting down so the boy has nothing in his arsenal.

"Her eyes are a little too big for her face," He concedes.

"So? "

"Her voice gives me the shivers."

"And?"

"I dunno, Rosie. She's shite at Transfiguration theory." He thwacks his head against the thick tome he's got in front of him for emphasis and I smile. I think things are going swimmingly for them. I crane my neck around to try and see past the stacks. I can just see her leaning around the corner, stalking my future husband.

She's a natural and I'm going to shove her and Albus together even if dancing hippogriffs carry me off into the sunset. It's the least I can do.

Sarah comes jogging back over, a panicked look on her pale face.  
"He saw me. Incoming at two o'clock. _Vermiculus!_" She whispers, turning the goblet Albus had provided into a rat. The poor bloke's eyes pop out of his head and he tangles his hands deeper into his mess of raven hair.

'How did you do that? You didn't even know the wand movement!" I think he's developing a twitch as well. Sarah grins one of her breathtaking smiles and he seems to startle a little.

"I don't know. I just sort of did a swish, then a swirl, and a sort of swivel thing with the incantation we were going over. Hold the applause." Poor Albus looks knackered and I kick Sarah in the back of the ankle so she hits a chair and stumbles toward him a little. It's so adorable I can hardly stand it. Their children are going to be so –

"Weasley!" The normally smooth as silk voice is rough with a steely edge of anger to it. Oh, goody. I swallow and try to keep the desire out of my eyes and the tremble out of my voice.

"Why hello, Scorpius. Fancy seeing you here. How have you been since Potions lesson yesterday?" I can tell I've hit a tender spot as I watch his fists and teeth clench. The boy is wound tighter than a spring-loaded nargle.

"I've been fine. Look, I'll cut to the chase. I'm above sending minions out to do my petty spy work."

"You do petty spy work?"

"Shut it, Weasley, and listen up." I narrow my eyes considerably and Albus picks up his wand. Careful, Scorpius my dear. You tread on dangerous grounds. Grounds that seem to be shaking. Oh wait, those are my knees knocking together. Damnit.

"What I need to know," he continues, "is if you've really taken our little wager, our little accord, to heart. You're not actually going through with this are you? Don't you agree it's a little childish?"

I feign innocence, puckering my lips a little. "You're not actually backing down, are you?" He may know how to crush my heart and soul, but I know just how to rile him up.

"Malfoy's never back down," he snarls, hair falling just into his glacial eyes. It's the goddamn sexiest thing I've ever seen.

"G-good," I only stammer a little, "glad we've got that settled then." He rolls his previously glaring eyes as if he can't even be bothered.

"Fine, Weasley. But I'm only doing this because I'm better than you."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." And the glare is back.

"You're going to regret this, Weasley. Mark my words." There's nothing I can do but smirk as a truly inspired thought sets up camp in my brain.

"_Weasley_," I emphasize, "isn't what most people call me, Scorpius." I savor the feel of his name in my mouth a little and I think he can tell because he just flinched pretty visibly. Lovely.

"Well, I'm not most people, am I?" He's leaning in towards me, eyebrows raised, voice soft, his whole game utterly changed. My breath hitches in my throat as those steely grey-blue eyes lock with mine. My heart clenches impossibly within my ribcage and sends out massive lurve waves. What a smarmy little git.

"No," I breathlessly concede, "you're not." I'm about to pass out right on the floor, but I've still got to work out if that's going to be before or after I happily curse him into oblivion. He leans in just a touch closer and if I had the guts or half the gall I really should have for being a Weasley-Granger I'd have leaned right back and snogged the hell out of the little ferret replica. Alas…

'You've got that right, tomato face. I'm a scoundrel." He gives those obnoxious eyebrows a distinct waggle and flicks me right in the nose before turning back to the rows of books. I. Will. End. Him. I mean, you know, right after I get my lungs working again. How infuriating. No one should be able to do that to anyone, _ever_.

"Oh, you just think you're Mr. Cool, don't you? Don't deny it you so-called scoundrel. I see right through you." Okay, no I don't. I've never met a more confusing, horrid, despicable, makes-me-want-to-scream-and-snog-simultaneously, secretly-kind-of-an-obnoxious-sweetheart individual in my entire life. What a bloody enigma.

"I'm rather opaque, Weaselbee. And your occasionally amusing antics are starting to bore me."

"If by _opaque_," I snarl, "you mean rather thick, then I think we might actually agree on something."

"What was it you wanted from me Weasley?" He drawls, utterly unruffled as he picks an invisible piece of lint off his sweater. Well now that he's mentioned it, I've got an exceedingly long list of things I want from him…an exceedingly long, detailed, romantic, hilarious, potentially smutty, list.

I must have gotten that creepy glint in my eye again because I swear to Merlin's winter pajamas that Albus just inched closer to Sarah. His arm is sort of on her and she's looking quite smug. Remind me to order in chocolates later.

"_Well?_" Oh, right we're still standing sort of awkwardly around a table in the library. I inspect the fingernails on my right hand with hopefully a cool and debonair manner.

"Well _what?_" I imitate his haughty tone and his mouth turns up in one corner to form a smirk. My legs are now incapable of working. Gee, thanks, Scorpius.

"You are aware that you were saying something of what I'm sure you consider importance? I mean, before you decided to be difficult."

…..I totally was, wasn't I? Damn him and his distracting eyes and mesmerizing smirk.

"I was working up to it," I snap back at him, ever the picture of coolly annoyed. "Before you so rudely interrupted I was about to issue my first order…slave." I added that bit at the end just to annoy him. Oh, look those distracting eyes just flashed dangerously at me. Brilliant.

'Whatever, Weasley." He's about to leave, I can tell. There's only so much of me he can take in one sitting it looks like.

"Ah, ah, ah, Scorpius," I savor his name again; just because I can, and watch his shoulders give a twitch. "_Weasley_, as I mentioned before, isn't what most people call me."

"It's your name innit?" I grin. Oh, silly little Slytherin. I'll get what I want from you yet.

"Proclamation Number One," I recite in my best Professor Slughorn impression, "Scorpius Malfoy, hereby referred to as _The Slave_, shall never call Rose Weasley, hereby referred to as _The Grand Master_, by her surname or any other demeaning notation. Oh and you'll carry my books when I say so. Savvy?"

"Quite," he growls at me, his eyes a storm of ice grey and chilled blue, boring into me with a hatred I've never known. It's bizarre that I'm thoroughly turned on right now, isn't it? And now the same way that he stormed over here naught ten minutes ago does he leave book bag swishing angrily back and forth, a trail of rather palpable anger steaming after him. Way to make an exit. He gets me every time, that silly little narcissist.

"Well, I think that went rather well," Sarah raises her eyebrows, trying to ignore the fact that Albus' hand is still resting on her arm. I grin back at them, and meet the eyes of my newest faithful recruit.

"Not only for me, eh Samuels?"

"Oh, shut it."

******************************************************

Sarah and I traipse through the hallways after lessons the next day, scouting the masses for the perfect bloke to make Scorpius go mad with jealousy. It mostly consists of her pointing and me grunting and shaking my head. Rather primitive I admit, but effective. It just seems like no one quite measures up. This being wretchedly in love business sucks.

"I have astronomy tonight. I can't make your little impromptu 'meeting'." Sarah Samuels flicks her fingers to show her distaste. I mentally curse. It's time to rally the forces and she's doing something dumb like filling out star charts.

"Come on, Sar," I whinge, "leave the dodgy old tower and come spend some quality time with me, and not to forget your future husband." Albus is conveniently located directly behind us and looks up from the parchment he's studying. Samuels squeaks fairly audibly.

"You too, huh? Rosie must have rubbed off on you." Albus sighs, "What is it with birds these days?" Any color that was previously left in Sarah's face drains away and I laugh at Al's oblivion. He truly doesn't understand the workings of a fair maiden's heart. A troll could storm the castle and he'd still keep reading whatever textbook or worn out parchment scroll he had at the time.

"Yes," Sarah growls at him, "me too." She smacks the scroll out of his hand so it falls to the floor as she storms off. I knew there was a reason I liked her.

"What the bloody hell is her problem? Mad as a hatter, that one." He adjusts his reading glasses as he bends to retrieve his precious artifact.

"You like it," I add fuel to the fire. It's sort of my specialty.

"It's weird as feck, Rosie Red," he grins as he says this and ruffles his hair. I smack the weathered old scroll to the ground again.

"Don't call me Rosie Red." And I turn to sort of flounce, no rather awkwardly galumph, my way to quidditch practice.

"Painters must be in…" I hear him mutter.

"_Incendio!_" I sing back at him, watching with glee as the centuries old parchment goes up in flames. The little tosspot utterly deserved that. Okay maybe not. Oh well. My bad.

**************************

James just made us do thirty laps. _Thrity._ To end practice. I guess that's my karma for obliterating something that, the more I think on it, probably belongs to the library.

My hands are practically frozen as if I was still clutching onto my broomstick for dear life in the high winter winds. And let me tell you that is a very suggestive position to have ones hands stuck in. Very suggestive , indeed. If only Scorpius…._no, no! Bad Brain!_ There is something oh so very wrong with me. I think it's because I'm in love. Love is a damn beast. I can't even control myself anymore. Not that I did before.

It's all Scorpius' fault, you know. He's the bleeding devil. He's cool and seductive and so very tempting. He draws me in and I want nothing and no one else, not in the entire world. Prince Bloody William could be begging for my hand, and I'd spurn him (Although could you imagine me, The Queen? _Ha!_). He's a double edged sword, something both to lure me in and shred me to ribbons. A shiny object, so unique and so simply touchable. But dare you grab for it and that's it, you're through. The end. Goodbye.

And my poor hands are in _no_ condition to be dodging sharp blades. I blow on them a bit as I shove my kit and gear into my assigned cubby and make a grab for my book bag. James happens to be a Nazi and scheduled practice after the last lesson until dinner. If he wasn't a solid foot taller than me, I'd kill him. Hell, even that's not going to stop me.

"Oye, Rosie!" I cringe. Speak of the devil himself. No, not Scorpius. "Not bad chasing today, little cuz." He ruffles my hair and my other cousin Fred, star beater, laughs. He _laughs_.

"One," I tick off on my fingers, "don't call me Rosie. Two," I add, "I'm not little. Just proportionate."

"To what, a goblin?" They guffaw some more until I start to get my wand out of my skirt waistband.

"You keep it _there_?" Lorcan Scamander, the other beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, and hands down creeper of the Scamander Twins, implores with a lecherous smirk.

"Ay, underclassman," James towers menacingly (although not whilst sitting), "keep your perv notions to yourself. Especially with my cousin. I'll have you roundhoused off the team. Got it?" Oh Merlin, if only James knew. I can't even begin to imagine what would be in store for Scorpius, what with the incident I shall now refer to as The-Bum-Checking-Out-and-Leering'. It gives me a chuckle just thinking of it.

"I can handle myself James," I snap, securing my wand. "And piss of, Scamander." Lorcan doesn't even have the decency to look abashed, and saunters his way out of the changing room. I'm so glad I only have to store my gear in here. I leave the changing room to an earful of calls and jeers from my family and the raunchier Scamander. Lovely. Why isn't murder legal?

*********************************8

The wind is whipping through my hair and snow is getting caught in my eyelashes as I trudge upwards toward the castle where I know warmth and food will be waiting. I can practically feel the rush of hot air on my face as I walk through the doors and oh, Merlin, the food. My stomach gives a large rumble as I shove my out of control hair back from my face.

"Well don't you look a right sight?" I jump and drop my book bag as I make eye contact with the Romeo to my Juliet. And piss on a stick, wouldn't you know it, he's right. I look bloody awful.

"What are you stalking me now, Scorpius?" I spit back at him like I don't give a toss that my candy apple hair is flying in all directions, that I probably smell less than favorable, that there's a tear in one of my socks, that my tie is crooked, and that I know I've got blue skin from the cold. He only smirks.

"Mmm, you'd like that wouldn't you?" If only he knew. I roll my eyes and pick up my book bag in order to stop myself from nodding back at him in confirmation.

"Where's Dom?" I shoot back, trying not to let my bitterness settle into the words. I think maybe it worked because he doesn't flick his eyes over me in that curious way like he does when I come too close to showing I care.

"She's eating, of course." He says it easily, like it's nothing. "She told me to go check on you, actually." So there it is, the truth, loud and clear.

"Looks like you're not only my slave," I drawl back at him, even though what he's said actually had no hint of sarcasm or malice. He gets really angry once I've said this. Like, his eyes get all flashy and the cool gray blue goes dark and stormy.

"I am _no ones_ slave," he growls at me, taking a step closer. I step a little farther up the hill so I'm able to look him straight in the eyes.

"You're mine," I whisper closely, for once actually feeling superior. Maybe it's the height thing. But the way he's looking at me is making me feel so exposed, so raw. If I didn't know the look he was giving me was one of pure and utter loathing, I might find it intensely sexual. Okay, I still do. I have my quirks, don't judge me.

"Hardly, Weasley" And he's back to cold and indifferent rather than angry and spicy, the usual way I prefer him. Damn.

"Are too. Now carry my bag. All the way into the Great Hall. So everyone can see," I thrust the cumbersome bag into his chest with a heavy push. What happens next goes in slow motion, almost like something out of a slapstick comedy sketch.

With the force of my more or less throw, his balance on the steep slope, and his utter surprise at my action, Scorpius Malfoy is stumbling backwards. His mouth forms and 'oh' and I'm sure I mutter some explicit phrase. But right before he goes tumbling, I see his pale hand latch onto my sweater's sleeve.

"Oh, piss," is all I have the chance to say before we're both rolling down the hill, limbs tangled, books and papers flying. And boy does it _hurt_. With a final bounce we hit a patch of wet grass at the bottom. At least we landed on something soft and kind of cushy. Well it's still firm ground but….wait…does this ground have abdominal muscles? Chiseled like a Greek God abdominal muscles? I sit up a little and open my eyes. Oh _bugger_. I've landed on Scorpius Malfoy. And I haven't even had time to enjoy it. He looks a bit worse for wear, like me after a brutal game of Quidditch.

"Uh, Scorpius," I murmur, looking down at him, checking for cuts and bruises, "are you okay?" My hair makes a fire truck red curtain around us as I lean closer. "Scorpius? Oh, you git." His eyes are closed but I can hear his breathing. I stare at his perfect face, his immaculate features. Even if there is a smudge of dirt on his cheek and leaves in his hair. I touch his face, trying to gauge some kind of response. Anything.

Shit, had I killed him? No, no, I just heard breathing but a few seconds ago. Funny, it felt like hours. But, Merlin, the boy's eyes aren't even open! Is he even conscious? I cup his cheeks with my hands and appreciate him a little bit more. I can worry in a minute. I've never really ever been this close to Scorpius. And trust me, I'm as close as it gets. I'm straddling the bloke for Christ sakes. I lean in more and my hair touches the grass around us.

And then I do the unthinkable. I do the unimaginable. I do the unforgivable. I have every idea what I'm doing. But at the same time…I have no idea what I'm doing.

I'm flying recklessly down the path of no return, and as luck would have it I'm flying by the seat of my pants. This pesky love business, it's got me all messed up, don't you see? It's like I've been knocked over the head with a ridiculously heavy object. I can't walk, I can't think. I don't even know who I am. But maybe that's because I just tumbled down a mountain. And that's not even the worst of it.

The real kicker to all of this is he's the enemy. I was told from day one under no circumstances, come hell or high water, should I associate with that. But did I listen no of course I didn't. I was too damn stubborn in my own crazy crooked way. There's no loving the right or wrong person. You love who you love. Period. That's it. It's complicated. And it's not. And now I'm doing absolutely what I should never even dream of.

But I do it anyways. What I've thought about since forever, envisioned since always. I let my lips brush his, ever so slightly. And it's like an electric current is flowing through me, only in the best way possible. I press my lips harder against his, feeling the heat between us. It's so wrong of me. Dominique. Him. Me. It's so awful of me. But I do it anyways. And despite the fact that I _know_ its wrong and that I _know_ its awful…it doesn't feel that way. It's amazing, like fire in my veins and haze in my mind. It feels like our lips should never be melded with anyone elses, ever again. It's perfect.

Except for the fact that, you know, I'm nearly 95.3% sure he's completely unconscious. And my best friend's boyfriend.

But then I feel him move slightly underneath me. Oh. Fucking. Shit. I lean back quickly, opening my eyes to look at him, my face a picture of horror, I'm sure. His eyes flutter open and I almost faint with the intensity of them.

"Rose," he whispers and I gulp. This is the first time I've ever heard him speak my name, and I can already feel the blood rushing to my cheeks…and various other places, to be honest. "Rose," he says again, this time a little more clearly, but still just as breathless. "You're sitting on me. And you're heavy as feck. I can't _breathe_."

What a little git. I have half a mind to…but before I figure out exactly what I have half a mind to do, it gets worse.

It's the life of me, Rose Weasley, so why wouldn't it?

"What the _fuck_ are you doing to my cousin?" A voice bellows and I look up.

There is James Potter the Second, in all his six-foot-something towering glory, flanked by Fred and Lorcan, pointing his wand directly (and quite threateningly) at the love of my life, the boyfriend of my best friend, the sworn enemy of the Weasley family, and consequentially the boy I just kissed while he was most likely unconscious.

And the cherry of cruelty on top of my sundae of despair? For some odd reason that I can't even begin to fathom right now, Teddy Lupin is standing right next to my cousins, his wand drawn as well, and his eyes as red as my hair. Shit.

My life just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?

*********************

_A/N__  
__I'm sorry this chapter seems a little thrown together and whatnot. I'm not quite pleased with it but I really wanted to keep this going._

_Anyways, my apologies again, and if you're still reading and enjoying, do review! Thanks, starrysoso_

_. _


	9. What You Stole

Oh, this is it. That pinnacle moment where everything bad that's ever happened ties together in your mind right before you reach your certain and gory demise. This _would_ happen to me, wouldn't it? I'm going to be flayed. No, I'm going to be shish-ka-bobbed. With things like pineapples and green bell peppers marinated in a sweet vinegar sauce on either side of me. I really hope the universe is getting a laugh and tickle out of this.

"Er, hello…" I want to smack my head into the ground right now. Like, bury it deep, deep, deep, underground something like an ostrich does when it knows it's up shit creek without a paddle.

"Five seconds. Explain. _Now_," Teddy is practically growling as he takes a step forwards and fingers his wand dangerously. If I didn't know he was really all soft and cuddly I'd have wee'd in my britches. Maybe I should get off Scorpius. Just a thought.

"Right. Well, you see…" I bluster while I ungracefully clamber off the object of my wacky affections, "it's like this…" I pause again, brushing the dirt off my palms, looking for a good reason as to why I was straddling the Weasley family's sworn enemy. I hear Scorpius sigh as he too rights himself and picks leaves out of his still gorgeous hair.

"We fell," I finally supply, glad to be able to form a coherent phrase, "and rolled down the hill. All the way down….oh wow, that's actually quite far," I look up and survey the distance, doing anything I can to bide time and attempt to avoid the imminent disaster I see looming on the horizon.

"That's not at all what it looked like, Rose. If he's touched you in any inappropriate way –" James is seriously worked up now, and it think there's a bit of spittle in the corner of his mouth. That poor boy is going to get an ulcer and throw out a disk. But Scorpius just scoffs indiscreetly at my side. Like this is some sort of bleeding joke. Right, it'll be humorous and all right for a laugh once I don't have three angry, armed, and intelligently equipped with a vast knowledge of spells, family members glowering down on us. But the idiot takes his scoff and turns it into running commentary.

"Like it would ever be that way. Your oaf of a cousin practically ambushed me. I'm going to be scarred not only physically," he motions to a scrape on his cheek, probably from a rogue twig, "but emotionally from having to endure being in the same space as her."

Teddy takes a very large step forward, eyes flashing dangerously and wand twitching violently in his hand. "You do _not_ talk about Rosie like that, are we clear, Malfoy? You'd be lucky if she ever got closer than 200 ft."

"I'd be lucky if she stayed 200 ft away from me at all times, Lupin." Oh great, now he's gone and got Teddy all cheesed off. My spidey-sense is tingling, and trust me; this is going to end very badly indeed.

"You want to try that again you little snot-nosed git?" Teddy raises his wand slowly and makes a circular movement with it. Oh, balls.

"No need to get out of sorts, Theodore. We're all civilized gentlemen here, not animals. Well, at least _some_ of us are." And now the gloves are off. Scorpius doesn't need to say 'half-breed' but he may as well have. James, Fred, and Lorcan flank Teddy on either side, each having drawn their wands. Well, to be fair, Lorcan is sort of staring at his like he doesn't quite know which end is up. It looks like it's only going to be three against one, but still the proverbial clouds are gathering.

"Look, boys," I try in a lame attempt to placate both my family and the most obnoxious love of my life, "there's no need to squabble. I'm sure we can all be mature –"

"Stuff it, Weaslette," Scorpius snaps as his eyes lock with Teddy's. It's literally fire and ice as Teddy takes his stare to a frightening inferno of red and orange.

"Stay away from Rosie, Malfoy. Stay far, far, away." Teddy's voice is low and growly, something one would only expect from an uber stroppy wolf.

"Teddy –" I protest, but I'm cut short.

"And I take it _you're _going to make me?" Scorpius' eyes roll in a bored fashion. "You really don't have to be so dramatic." Teddy is already about to lose it and this idiot is just feeding the flames. Why would you piss off someone who's part wolf? _Why?_ In what book of sense and good conduct is that one written in?

"If you don't heed my warning, boy," Teddy spits, "I'll make sure you deeply regret it. I promise you that."

Scorpius' eyes narrow frighteningly, and he's giving Teddy a look I've never seen before, not even when I botch up our daily assignment because I saw him briefly smile. This glare, this look, of pure malice and hatred is like nothing I have ever witnessed and for the first time in my life, I'm actually scared of Scorpius Malfoy.

"I'd like to see you try, Lupin. You, and your asshat, pansy Gryffindor army." Scorpius sneers, jerking his head towards James, Fred, and Lorcan. And that's the last straw. Normally, such a remark wouldn't have gotten to Teddy, especially from a fifteen year old wizard in training. But I can tell things have finally gone too far, and it's not like having a sensitive wolf gene written into his DNA is helping anything. Cheese and crackers, are we in for it now.

Teddy's pulling back his arm, the one with the dangerous stick-like object in it; James, Fred, and Lorcan are closing in as well, and things look bad, really bad. Before I know it Teddy snaps. Like literally, he gnashes his teeth.

"_Teddy, no!"_ I try, but it's no use.

"_Petrificus Totalus!" _Teddy roars, and sends a powerful bolt of light right towards Scorpius' head. Oh, tits. I squeeze my eyes shut.

"_Protego!" _I crack one eye open just in time to see the two spells collide and dissipate. I have to do something. Merlin, _anything._I don't even take the time to consider my actions. I just let my body take over and do the only thing I can think of. And we all know how well that worked out last time.

"_YOU GREAT BUFFONS," _I scream as I dive towards the melee, shielding Scorpius for all I'm worth, "_STOP IT –"_

"_STUPEFY!"_ I hear three deep voices chorus, and there's a massive, ungodly amount of red light. I don't even have time to mutter something witty or explicit as three fully developed stunners hit me right in the face.

*****

"Rose? Rose?" I hear a soft voice calling me, but it sounds like I'm underwater and they're super far away. Like, an entire lake away, maybe.

_What?_ I mentally snap at them, angry for being disturbed in the middle of what must certainly be a very decent nap.

"Is she going to die?"

"Shut up, Lorcan," I hear a bevy of baritone voices growl, and would have been trembling in my socks if I knew what was going on. I just want everybody to shut the bloody hell up.

"Can it, you tosspots," I mutter, but it looks like this time I've spoken aloud. Bad idea, very bad idea indeed. I crack open one eye and let the blurry room come into focus. The Hogwarts hospital wing is utterly deserted. I chance the other eye and see a rather tall group of boys standing around the bed I'm occupying. It's like Christmas come early…if most of them weren't my family.

Teddy comes into my vision as quickly as it clears. "Rosie, speak to me. Oh, Rose," His eyes are wide and keep shifting colors, creating a dizzying effect. Besides all that, he really sounds like a bad telly drama. He wraps his arms around me as well as you can in a hospital bed, and squeezes until I can't breathe.

"How can I assist you today, Theodore," I grumble as I detach our bodies and push myself up onto the pillows into an almost comfortable sitting position. I take a closer look at him and realize he's a scruffy mess. Everyone in the room seems to be looking worse for wear. "You all look like a pile of shite. What truck did you ride in on?"

"You're _alive!_" James cries dramatically and throws himself at the foot of my bed. Really? Is that necessary? Fred starts laughing and Lorcan grins like he knows what's going on. Welcome, back to Earth, Rose. And if this is the welcoming party, I'm less than thrilled.

"Ted," I ask, squinting my eyes at him, "why are you sporting a wicked black eye?" It gets quiet for a moment and I notice James has a bruised cheek and Fred is rocking a deep cut above his eyebrow.

"Right, I suppose that's my cue to leave then," I hear a velvet voice sigh from the chair by the door. I suck in my breath as Scorpius Malfoy eases himself up from his seat and limps a little toward the exit. His tie is ripped and his shirt, untucked.

"Hold on," I call, "Were you here the whole time? Waiting?" I'm sure my eyes are wide, and the tips of my ears are starting to go pink. I see Scorpius' hand pause on the doorknob and realize the knuckles there are bruised and there's a bit of blood on them.

"Make sure you're in potions tomorrow, Weaslette. Wouldn't want to fail without you," the smallest trace of a smirk graces his lips, and he's gone out the door, like smoke.

"I _hate_ that git," Teddy growls and I stare in wonder.

"He's the one that kicked your arse? All of you? At once?" The four boys scoff and ruffle their hair, but in the end I watch as the nod sheepishly and scuff their shoes against the floor.

"Don't worry Rosie," Fred says with fervor, "we'll get him back. We'll defend your honor." I raise my eyebrows at my cousins, Teddy, and Lorcan.

"Are you all mental? _You're the ones that stunned me at point-blank range! Might as well have been in cold blood!" _I steam at them, and work on towering while sitting in the bedsheets. They all look appropriately abashed.

"And as far as I'm concerned," I continue, "You lot were ruddy immature and should be ashamed. The only person that seems to have defended my honor, is Scorpius!" Whoa, never thought I'd say that one out loud. Feels kind of nice.

"He insulted you! He insulted us! _He's_ the one that got bloody physical!" Teddy protests, and I can't argue there. But it seems as though the heated discussion is just between us now, as my two cousins and the less mentally inclined Scamander twin drift off towards the rack of very intricate and probably dangerously valuable medical potions.

"Yeah, well he's not the one who decided to get fancy with the wand work. And you had just practically murdered his potions partner who gets him an 'O' every time. " You know, unless I knock something over or spend too much time gazing at him and muck everything up. But Teddy can live without those details.

"What is it with you two?" Teddy whispers, his voice rising quickly, "He's not good for you Rosie, you must see that."

I shake my head. "You don't see what I see. And you don't know what I know, Ted. He's everything to me."

"He's nothing," Teddy insists, becoming more agitated by the second. "Rose, you can't tell me that he's not awful to you. You deserve so very much more than some dark, brooding, scum who can't even produce a single redeeming quality."

Sometimes I wonder if what Teddy says is right. Sometimes I wonder what sort of malfunction of the heart makes me care for this stupid boy who could rip my world to shreds with a single word, and has on more than one occasion.

"Teddy…maybe the fact that he's so deeply loved _is_ the perfect saving grace." Teddy chuckles at me and smoothes a piece of my untamable hair back.

"How very philosophical of you, Rosie Red. And how very mad."

I sigh, lie back against my pillows, and stare at the ceiling.

"I love him, and that's that. No circumstances, no maybes, no changes. I'd love that stupid wanker through a brick wall."

Teddy ruffles my hair and stands before kissing my forehead.

"I suppose everyone needs something to be passionate about. I've got to get back to business, but I really am sorry I stunned you. You took it like a champ," he laughs as I smile back at him.

"Always do, Ted. Always do." He's about to leave when I remember one tiny, yet important detail.

"Teddy," I call out to him as he reaches the door, "you never did tell me what you're doing here." He only turns on his famous grin, letting his eyes sparkle an unnerving violet color.

"I'll see you around, Rosie Red." I cross my arms and scowl. What an utter wank.

*****

The hours are passing painfully slowly, and I've taken to staring out the windows at the snow. It just keeps falling, falling, falling, relentlessly, like me for Scorpius Malfoy. Had he really punched out a small governing branch of the Weasley Militia? For…me? The thought that he'd been concerned about me, even waited in the hospital wing, well it's dizzying. Or maybe that's just the effects of being hit head on by three fully developed stunners. I don't really know anymore.

I sigh, my head aching, my body not much better. From what I could tell Scorpius had shown new depths to his already maddening personality. Why he abandoned his usually cool and debonair persona, I can't quite fathom. He must really be anal retentive about his marks in Potions.

I turn over on my side, painfully lonely in the hospital wing. It isn't empty, but a small second year with vines growing out of his orifices is _hardly_ much company. I really can't think of a single good thing that's happened today. Besides kissing Scorpius, which now that I take the time to think on it, is very baddy McBadson indeed. But maybe that's what makes it so good…

"_ROSE WEASLEY YOU GREAT FOOL_," The silence I was half enjoying and half hating is shattered utterly and completely by a blur of pale white skin and ebony hair.

"Oof!" I grunt as Sarah Samuels flings herself onto my bed and curls up at my side like an oversized cat. "Can I assist you?" I whimper once I've got my breath back. And I say whimper because she's jumped back off the bed and is standing there with her hands on her hips and giving me the oddest glare ever. I mean, this _is _Sarah we're talking about.

"Do you know how worried I was?" She taps her foot for emphasis and I shrug. Her amber eyes give a slight twitch to show her distaste. "Well I was worried. Poor Albus nearly had a coronary. He _fainted_, Rose!"

"It's not my fault he's a dramatic little sod. Did you resuscitate him?" She turns bright pink, nothing on my famously flaming cheeks, but still aesthetic ally pleasing.

"I…I…well what I mean to say is…he's fine, okay? I'm sure he'll be by some time tonight." I grin widely as she stutters.

"When I get out of here, you're going to tell me _exactly_ what happened." Sarah shakes her head furiously in protest.

"Nothing happened!" She even puts her hands up in front of her face and waves them back and forth for added effect. I can only raise an eyebrow and call her out.

"Lies, Samuels, lies."

"No, honestly. I swear. Okay…I mean…I sort of…" The more she stutters, the more I smile.

"Yes, go on."

"Don't rush me, I'm telling you aren't I?"

"Only a little. Come on, you can do better." I give her a nudge with my foot and she pushes my toes away.

"Fine. I sort of…well I sort of sat on him."

"…you _sat_ on him?" I'm not quite sure if I've heard her right. I was expecting a little mouth to mouth over here. Maybe that's just me. I _did_ snog Scorpius while he was most likely knocked out….Merlin I hope he was knocked out.

"Enough with the questions, I'm here for two reasons," Sarah Samuels holds up two alabaster fingers to demonstrate. Jeez, she is frighteningly pale. "The first reason, is that I was worried you had gone and gotten yourself killed. But apparently you're fine, so no big deal." I give her an undignified snort in reply as she continues.

"Second thing is this: I've found you the perfect bloke. Hands down guaranteed to make Scorpius go mad, mad, mad." Then she flashes me one of those brilliant Sarah-Samuels-smiles and I'm practically flabbergasted.

"Well, who is it?" I demand, sitting up straighter in my cot and leaning towards her. So far my dastardly plot to woo Scorpius Malfoy has pretty much been dormant. Other than making him my slave. And call batty old Professor Trelawney, but I have a feeling that's not exactly winning him over.

"Ah, ah, ah," Sarah waggles those freakily white fingers at me, "that's not for you to worry yourself over right now. We'll have a meeting once you're discharged from the hospital wing. Albus has been dying to take minutes." Dear Lord in heaven, why are my friends so weird?

"Okay –" I start to say, but she's already skipping silently out the door. "Bye, Samuels," I mutter and she waves before making her final then…

Before I can lament any longer about once again being deserted, the door swings open. I lift my head up quickly hoping for company. And I'm not disappointed.

"Al," I whoop, as I throw the covers back and swing my legs over the side of the bed. It's as if the matron knows my toes are about to touch the floor because she sticks her neck out from her office and glares. "Sorry, sorry," I quickly apologize, and turn my attention back to my best friend and cousin.

"Rosie," he smiles back at me and gives me a good clap on the back. "James and Fred are such tools." I don't have the heart to tell him that Teddy, practically his idol, was in on my hospitalization, albeit by accident.

"I know," I nod, just happy to see him. "Did you pass Samuels on your way in?" Albus goes quiet and he clears his throat, cheeks showing some color. "Albus?" I try again, smiling like mad, "Did she sit on you?"

He makes an odd noise and tangles his hand in his hair. "What? No! I mean…I suppose sort of." I raise my eyebrows at him as he sits on my bed and looks the most confused I've ever seen him.

"Albus?" I've never seen him look so, so…so odd. He's looking everywhere but at me and his hand is still stuck in his hair and it looks like he's searching desperately for words.

"It's the oddest thing," he mutters, "she didn't sit on me, per se."

"Well how does that one work out?" I'm desperate to know. Albus is acting like he's been confounded and I've got to get to the bottom of this. "Spill. Now." I dictate. He sighs, never having been one to keep things from he anyways.

"Well, you see I suppose it happened when we got the news you'd been mortally injured." I scoff and he shoots me a look. Albus hates being interrupted. You'd think he'd have just gotten used to it with me. But I guess not. I put my hands up in mock apology and nodded for him to continue.

"As I was saying, it was right after Professor McGonagall told us you were in the hospital wing, gravely wounded. You know how I get in stressful situations, I panic. I may have fainted, just a tad. But not a lot." I roll my eyes at him.

"And then, then I'm coming to, and I'm lying on the ground. But as soon as I open my eyes I look up and Samuels is sort of sitting on me, shaking my shoulder, telling me I had to wake up. Her eyes were all watery and misty and they're really really gold…her hair was all around my face and it smelled nice…"

I widen my eyes as he finishes. "Oh," is all I can say, beyond surprised. I usually am never caught unaware by Al. But this is a new one.

"Yeah, it was weird. She jumped up really fast and apologized and that was that. She was normal when I just saw her, well as normal as she can be."

"Oh, Albus." He may not be able to see it now, but I think my darling cousin might just be on the cusp of his very first ever crush. Oh, Merlin's bright striped pajamas I hope it's true. He just needs a little push in the right direction. All in good time, all in good time.

"What Rosie?" I smile at him and lean forward to try and make his hair stop sticking up.

"I'm tired and visiting hours are up. Go talk to Sarah about tomorrow's meeting. Apparently she's found some bloke." Al rolls his eyes but smiles anyways.

"Alright, Red. Sleep well," He gives a jaunty wave and leaves the same way Sarah did. I'm alone once again, it's dark, it's quiet, and I'm actually quite sleepy. I settle back into the pillow and pull the blankets up around my shoulders. The second year with the vines growing out of his orifices is making little gurgling noises. I pretend it's the ocean, and it's even a little believable.

I'm just about to slip into unconsciousness when I hear the door creak open again. I assume it's someone who's gotten sick this evening. I squeeze my eyes a little tighter so I can delve into my dreams, hopefully finding Scorpius there. Sometimes it works. I hear heavy footsteps coming closer, and it's a little unnerving.

The mattress moves as a weight sits on it, making it squeak. My eyes fly open as I search the dark for whoever is sitting on my bed. It's nearly impossible to see.

"Who's there –" A hand quickly covers my mouth, muffling all sound. It's a large, warm hand, mostly soft with a few calluses here and there. Definitely a boy hand.

"Can it, Weaselette," a voice says, but it's soft with no malice. Shivers rocket down my spine. I would know that voice anywhere.

"Scrrffius?" I mumbled from behind his hand. My eyes adjust in the dark enough for me to see his outline as he nods.

"I'm going to take my hand away. Are you going to scream?" I narrow my eyes at him as he moves his hand.

"Why are you going to kill me for getting you beat up?" I whisper and he sniggers under his breath.

"Oh please, I left your cousins and your past lover in worse shape." I have to admit it, he's right. I shrug noncommittally, still trying to make my brain work after almost falling asleep.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, shivers still shooting up and down my spine and butterflies running rampant in my entrails. He's quiet for a second and looks down, fiddling with the bed sheets.

"That is a very, very good question." He's mysterious as ever, his stormy eyes locking with mine as I've completely adjusted to the dark.

"Yeah…that's kind of why I asked it," I whisper, instinctually leaning closer. He stiffens as the space between us becomes less. I look down and frown a little, but try not to let it show.

Before I know it, his hand is holding my chin and forcing my gaze back up. "I'm here about something you stole." I shudder at his touch; it's so much warmer than I expected.

"I didn't take anything," I protest, eyes wide. He smiles at me then, a perfect smile that goes all the way up to his eyes. I'm like putty in his hands.

"Didn't you?" He leans closer as he murmurs, "Because I _remember_ quite differently."

And as quickly as he came does he leave, running a hand through my hair before standing up from my cot and slipping out the door.

And here I am, a puddle of goo and confusion, not knowing which way is up or down. Until I realize one thing quite clearly.

Scorpius Malfoy knows I snogged him senseless. And now he's going to toy with me until I die.


	10. Of Evil Plots and Garden Tapestries

You know, I really am being rather calm considering my life has gone from bad, to worse, to apocalyptic in such a short span of time. I'm just sitting here, shooting the breeze, on a couch in the Gryffindor common room at ten o'clock at night.

Albus is in his favorite squishy chair, the one he practically snarls at first years over if they dare sit in it, and Sarah is cross-legged on the floor with a bunch of pieces of parchment spread out in front of her. She's calling them 'schematics' and organizing them relentlessly. But I've got bigger things on my mind.

It's been three days time since my trip to the hospital wing, three days since I snogged Scorpius Malfoy whilst he was unconscious, and three days since the aforementioned git snuck in to see me in the dead of night, casually alluding to the fact maybe he wasn't so unconscious. But the _weirdest_ thing, is that it's been three days since anything monumental has happened.

The next day, a Friday incidentally, Scorpius doesn't say a bleeding _word_ during potions. Not even anything insulting. Not even a brusque "Pass the lacewing flies, oh by the way I know you snogged me and now I'm going to have a jolly good time and torture you with it. P.S. your already crumbling relationship with Dominique is now in my evil, twisted, hands". So it's been two days since absolutely nothing has happened and one day since I've started to wonder if my whacked out, kooky, Rose-Weasley brain has dreamt the whole thing up. And I haven't even told Albus and Sarah.

"Are you listening, Weasley?" I snap my attention to where Sarah is glaring up at me from the floor, her hands on her hips. It's not very intimidating considering she looks like a put out child.

"Why are you calling me Weasley, Samuels? I thought we left last-name-ville ages ago. I also thought you'd dreamed up the perfect match for me to _squash_ – I mean make Scorpius go mad with jealousy."

Sarah flicks her long black hair over her shoulder and readjusts the white pinafore she's wearing, itching slightly at the lace neckline. "I already tried Rose, Rosie, Rosie Red, and buttmunch, a _variety_ of times. It simply isn't my fault you're a deaf old bat."

"Why you little –" I begin to growl, my red hair crackling slightly with electricity, but Albus intervenes, slipping a bookmark into the text he's reading. God forbid he should dog-ear the pages and blemish one of his sacred tomes.

"Now, now Rosie. You know how you frighten people…" I scoff, because Sarah is anything _but_ frightened and she's even scarier than me. Just look at her. She's wearing a white Alice in Wonderland-esque night dress but her smirk speaks of pure unadulterated evil. Pure unadulterated evil with a plan. She shuffles the papers meaningfully.

"Do you want to hear something _really_ frightening?" I casually draw a few invisible circles on the couch with my finger. I've got to tell them sometime about the mishap from a couple days ago that has remained incredibly dormant.

"Can it wait?

This is the part where I tell you I want to kill you and mean it. I snogged the love of my life, my best friend's boyfriend, while I thought he was unconscious but apparently wasn't and therefore _HE BLOODY KNOWS_. No, it can't fucking wait.

"Sure, sure, go ahead." I'm the most giving person on the planet.

"Alright then," Sarah scoots a little closer to the couch and places her parchments on the coffee table. I try to get a look at them but she snaps her fingers in front of my face. "Focus, Rosie." I glare.

"Who does Scorpius Malfoy detest more than _anyone_ in the entire school? The entire world?"

"I'm not dating Al. Or James. Or Professor Longbottom." Albus snorts a little at this remark before opening his book again. Sarah kicks him in the shin with her heel and growls at me.

"No, you idiots. _Think!_"

"I can't date myself, Samuels." Albus is vigorously nodding his head and holds up a hand to show that he seconds that motion. Sarah pulls her hair and lets out a frustrated, yet alien, noise.

"Are you lot _really_ this thick? How have you even socially survived for this long?"

"That's rich coming from you," Albus mutters into the pages of his textbook. Sarah Samuels' mouth forms a hard line.

"Did you say something?" Sarah's voice is low and enough to frighten Peeves. I'm scooting away from her and hiding behind a pin cushion pillow, and she's not even addressing me. Albus turns a new shade of green and shakes his head. "Good, then."

I wonder when Albus is going to realize he's not actually afraid of Sarah but is in mad like with her. I'd clue him in, but watching him bumble around is just too priceless.

"Are you even _listening?_" Sarah gives us the evil eye. Okay, maybe Albus is legit scared of her. I know I am. My cousin and I both nod in silence as she waits, pausing with an air of triumph.

"It's Teddy Lupin." I take a moment to process just what my odd ethereal cohort has just uttered as I'm fairly certain my jaw has hit the floor.

"_EXCUSE ME?" _ I know I've screamed as loud as I have because the common room clears like nitrous oxide when you get those first breaths of pure oxygen after a filling at the dentist. What? Nana and Papa Granger were into the whole muggle teeth thing. I also know I've heard correctly because Albus is hacking up a lung from the spit he must have choked on when hearing this madness.

"Is there a good reason the pair of you are have bodily malfunctions? You both look like you belong in a special program." Samuels is giving us each a paper from her stack of parchment or "field notes" as she was calling them earlier.

So in my total confusion, and in my defense, the words coming out of Sarah Samuels' mouth were truly ludicrous, naturally there's only one thing that comes out of my big, fat, Rose-Weasley-Mouth.

"Um, I snogged Scorpius Malfoy while he was unconscious?"

And then I heard the most ungodly, otherworldly, scream, and did the only thing any self respecting Gryffindor would. I hid behind a pillow. And wouldn't you know it, the tartan little bugger didn't even protect me.

Ten minutes later and all three of us are sitting on one of the long couches in the Gryffindor common room. After I spilled the whole story, and after Samuels had chased me around the perimeter of the room, brandishing a down pillow and screaming, we're all just sitting. No one's saying anything. All three of us, Sarah on my right and Albus on my left, just sitting. Sarah crosses her arms.

"You just _had_ to throw a wrench in my flawless plot, didn't you? You did it on purpose, you cold, unfeeling twat."

"Oh yeah, that was it. I was only thinking of you when my tongue was down his throat." I deadpan as Albus clamps his hands over his ears.

"Bollocks, Rosie. Details I _did not need to know!" _He's glaring at me under his furrowed brows.

"It was metaphorical! I didn't- well what I mean to say is there wasn't any –oh shite I hate you, Sarah Samuels."

"The feeling is _very mutual_ in this moment," she snaps back.

We all revert back to silence. Sarah's papers from her file folder are everywhere, one sitting on the arm of the couch. Its dead quiet for a few moments, the common room completely emptied after our previous antics. Samuels waves her wand idly.

"_Incendio_," The paper on the couch bursts into flames and fizzles out.

"That was my copy!" I protest, before being silenced with a glare from Sarah.

"Well, fat lot of good it's going to do us now. All my work, for nothing." She looks like a tiny fairy sulking. I almost feel a bit bad. Except that I still haven't a clue as to what's going on and why Teddy is involved.

"And trying to even begin to understand your _work_ has got me completely knackered. Why Teddy? _Of all people, why Teddy?_ No, really. I'd love to know." Here I go, getting worked up again. I grab one of the surviving copies of Sarah Samuels' field notes and get nowhere.

I think I'm having a coronary, my breaths becoming shallower as I scan the piece of parchment in my hands, desperately trying to make some sort of connection. "What is this rubbish?"

Written in shiny black ink is the clear detailing of what appears to be a very crowded and intricate family tree. Albus takes it from my hands and begins madly scanning it.

"It's a family tree," Sarah points a thin, pale finger at her own copy. I roll my eyes. Really now?

"Oh, so you mean it's _not_ a garden tapestry?" Sarah's eyes flash angrily, but I'm not even scared. That's how off my rocker I've gone.

"There's no need to be snarky with me, Rose Weasley." In my opinion, after she dropped that bomb, I'm at liberty to say anything I bloody well choose.

"There's not? Because I'm almost nearly certifiably certain you just suggested that I act as if am dating the fiancée of my cousin who happens to be seven years my senior. _He doesn't attend Hogwarts anymore!_"

"Actually, he's been sitting at the Professor's table for the past two days. No one's said why, only that he'll be here for an extended period of time on 'Official Auror Business'", Sarah forms quotes with her fingers, "and now speculation is running rampant!" She claps her hands at the intrigue of it all. I'm still confused.

"He's really been here for the past two days? I thought he left after he saw me in the hospital wing. He would have told me if he was staying," I pout, my mood doubly soured at the thought of Teddy keeping me out of the loop as well

" Well, if it makes you feel any better, no one really knows why. But he's been here, eating with the school at meals, popping up in the occasional lesson…he's waved at you in the corridors, you know. Where have _you _been?" Sarah raises her dark eyebrows at me as I curl my fingers into a ball.

Where have I been? Really?

Oh, I don't know. Rolling down a rocky incline and macking on the love of my life while he was supposedly, but most definitely not, unconscious? Becoming the only casualty in an all out war between my family and some pompous twat that I'm utterly mad for? Posting up in the hospital wing because I took a few stunners to the face? Take your pick. Really, I insist.

"She was spaced off in her peas and carrots as usual." Albus supplies casually, as if this was some sort of daily occurrence. Okay…fine. It may have become one ever since the aforementioned dastardly battle and snog fest took place. But hey, I've got a lot on my mind.

Like going over every single solitary detail of Scorpius' sneaky little visit to the hospital wing. Like obsessing over how he plans to use this against me and torture me with it. Which, wouldn't you know it, leads me to torture myself with all the possible, gruesome scenarios, and thus playing straight into his sick, twisted, perfect hands. I've got to hand it to him; Scorpius Malfoy may very well be an evil genius. And this is still just all in my head.

"See, she's doing it again. Except this time she's staring at that second year, Johnny Moffit, who just ran up the staircase in what I can only assume is fear." My cousin shrugs at Sarah Samuels as she seethes, pounding a tiny alabaster fist on the low standing coffee table.

"We never get _anything_ done with her, you do know that don't you? I've made charts and have been doing most, if not all, of her evil plotting. And she just stares at vegetables and children." Sarah sighs in exasperation before collecting all her papers neatly into a filing folder.

"Rose?"

I look her in the eyes as she says my name, "you've got to make it seem like you and Teddy are mad for each other. You've got to make it seem more real than anything else you've ever felt! Thus bruising the ego of Scorpius Malfoy, make him question all his life's decisions, wonder if he's ever been good enough for Mummy and Daddy, instigate what one could only call jealousy at Helen-Of-Troy proportions, force him to chuck Dominique, and ultimately leave him curled in the fetal position in the Potions classroom. Hold the applause."

I stare at her. She's slightly panting as she finishes the unveiling of her master plan.

"I don't completely follow…" Albus forces out, voice cracking ever so slightly. I try to wrap my head around everything but I'm failing miserable. And there's only one emotion I feel when I can't reason a problem. I get angry. Very angry, very fast. A veritable ticking time bomb inside a hornet nest.

"You're damn straight we don't follow," I snap, practically snarling right back at Sarah. Bzzzz, Ka-boom!

"You don't…you lot _really_ have no clue what I've been banging on about, have you?" Samuels widens her eyes and softens her voice. She even touches Albus' arm and I'd take a minute to smirk if I wasn't feeling quite so lethal at the moment.

"You better start explaining, and fast, why I'm about to embark on another journey that will get me excommunicated from my family. The entire Delacour-Weasley branch will feed me to thestrals. Ginny might be a little bit happy if Fleur's upset, but she'll ultimately shun me because she'll take Uncle Bill's side. And Uncle Bill will call Uncle Charlie to have dragons light my hair on fire because I've made _both_ his precious baby girl's cry. Louis will feel protective over his sisters and rally Hugo to turn against me, although Hugo's never really been quite pushed on me anyways. Basically no one will ever forgive me, and I wouldn't put it past my Dad to use an unforgivable on me. _Do you understand the gravity of what you are asking me to do?_"

Bzzzz, Ka-boom! I'm about to continue my rant and bring Percy, Audrey, and Molly into this but Sarah stops me short like she always does. It only takes on simple sentence.

"Do you love Scorpius?" She's staring me down, completely and eerily calm.

"I think that's a little beyond the point right now –"

"Love him, yes or no?" I see her eyes searching mine and I already know my answer. I don't even need to pause.

"A million times, yes." And it's the utter truth. Always has been, always will be.

"Then you'll find a way to do this, and since you're Rose freakin' Weasley, you'll find a way to do it brilliantly."

"Okay," I breathe out, "Will you now please enlighten us as to why Scorpius Malfoy should give a toss about Teddy? And why me liking him will cause the next Trojan war?"

Sarah lifts a dark eyebrow at me as my mood shifts gears from the kill-shot zone to that place I go when I've got to learn a new fact or master a new spell. Albus likes to call it the "sponge mode" since I like to soak up every detail I can find. Thanks for referring to me as a skuzzy kitchen accessory, Al.

"For all your book smarts, you really have no idea about the social workings of the wizarding world, do you?" I glare. So what if books are better friends than people? It doesn't mean that I'm socially inept…right? I instead settle for a huffy silence.

"I'll take that as a no," Sarah snips, and I could pull her braids out. What business does someone so clearly evil have in wearing braids anyways?

"Take Albus' copy of the family tree and follow along if you can," She adds to me. Albus hands over the crumpled parchment and grins.

"What are you smirking at?" I demand, feeling utterly daft for being the only person clearly not in on the big secret. Albus shakes his head, black hair falling into his eyes. Eyes that are mocking me with their knowledge of evil plots.

"Listen, Weasley," Sarah snaps at me," this could still work if you pay attention." I glower.

"Okay, so here is the essential breakdown. Here, we have Teddy Lupin. Trace his parentage back and you'll find that his grandmother is the late Andromeda Tonks. This here, is the key. Andromeda, her maiden name, before she married a muggle man and was disowned by her pureblood family, was –"

"_Black!"_ I yell in delight, clapping my hands together as the puzzle pieces fall slowly into place.

"Yes," Sarah is glaring from under her fringe, clearly put off that I've cut her off. But I'm already figuring things out as I hold the piece of parchment with the family tree up close to my face.

"So this means," I say, tracing my finger along the branches of the tree, "Since Andromeda's sisters were Bellatrix and Narcissa…and Narcissa married Malfoy…oh wow, _they're distantly related!_ Scorpius's Grandmother would be Teddy's Great Aunt! And vice-versa! What does that make them?"

Sarah gives a perfunctory nod at my discovery. "I don't know, second cousins I believe."

I furrow my brows together. "I still don't quite understand why this has Scorpius loathing Teddy. I can't imagine they'd come into much contact."

Albus takes his turn to chime in, of course having reasoned it all out on his own. "That's just it. Teddy's had loads of contact with the Malfoy family, ever since he was young. When James, Lily, and I were young, Dad used to bang on about how the Malfoy's were all a little too welcoming. "

"That sounds creepy."

"Well, it is. The Malfoy's are a part of pureblood society. They've always had their own events and gatherings, and Teddy was invited and brought to each one, courtesy of the Malfoy family." I raise an eyebrow.

"Why were we never invited? The Weasley name goes back just as far as the Malfoy's. The two families have been intertwined for centuries," I feel a slight pang in my chest as I say this. "And don't tell me it's because my Mum is muggleborn, Teddy is about as far from pureblooded as you can get!"

Sure, the Malfoy's and who are left of the pureblood families are a bit of a dodgy bunch, but childish emotions are having me feeling left out. I could have grown up with Scorpius, we could have been at all the same social gatherings. Things could have been different.

"Don't get offended, Rosie." Albus nudges me with his shoulder. "Dad and Uncle Ron never much cared for it. It was never that our families were _uninvited_."

"But why did Teddy get to go? And why did he choose to?" I whine, part of me still jealous, and the other part genuinely curious.

"Isn't it obvious?" Sarah speaks softly. "They're the closest thing to his original family that he has. Who wouldn't naturally be curious and feel the desire to spend time with blood, no matter how diluted?"

I shrug. I'd never had to think about what it would be like to be without family. I've always had mine, sometimes far too close for my own liking. Something like that, understanding Teddy's thoughts and feelings like that, would never have crossed my mind. And that fact makes me feel like a shit mate.

I try and clear the thoughts from my head. "So he was brought up alongside Scorpius then?" Sarah nods.

"Exactly. I think his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy, sort of…emulated Teddy. He represents something good that came from their family, someone's whose parents are regarded as heroes from the war. I know the Malfoy's still feel a great deal of shame for being collaborators during the first and second wars. Teddy was their…redemption, so to speak."

My jaw's gone slack and my head is swimming. This is why I stick to books. The social politics of it all is just so maddening. "So basically," Sarah summarizes, "Scorpius Malfoy truly loathes, scorns, and abhors Teddy Lupin because he's always felt inferior to him, stemming all the way back to infancy".

"And whatever Teddy's done or accomplished, or had," Al supplies, "Scorpius has always tried to measure up in his parents, and the entire pureblood society's, eyes." Sarah beams at Al, one of her million watt smiles, and he's awed into silence.

"Perfect deduction, Albus. So I'm willing to bet that whatever Scorpius Malfoy _thinks_ Teddy Lupin has, will drive him quite literally mad with jealousy. And he'll make it his personal business to obtain it. Or in this case, you."

"Sweet," I drawl, "so I'm an object to be had?"

Sarah growls at me. "This is the plan. I spent days collecting facts and data and drawing up schematics. I had to squeeze this information out of that brick, Reginald Parkinson . Do you think I just did that for a _laugh_? No, Rose Weasley, I did not".

Albus stiffens on the couch and the scowl is apparent on his face. "Parkinson's a cad. A bloody, wanking, cad."

Sarah's cheeks turn pink and I snort. "Tell us how you really feel then, Al." My cousin grumbles to himself and slouches down into the cushion.

"I only bribed him with firewhiskey…" Sarah supplies, quietly defending herself. Albus looks marginally more chipper but the awkward silence in the room is enough to smother a monkey with. And let me tell you, those slick little suckers are _not_ easy to smother. Not that I go around smothering primates. Because I don't.

"Right," I cough, "there's only two flaws t this plan." Sarah glares at me and moves her hand closer to her wand.

"No, there's not, it's perfect."

"Really? Because first of all, how am I supposed to strike up a relationship with my oldest friend _who is engaged to my cousin_?"

"I didn't say it was _real. _It's simulated. You've just got to make him _think_ there's something there." I roll my eyes.

"Okay, how about this. I snogged Scorpius while I thought he was unconscious. But he really _wasn't_ unconscious and now I'm buggered because he knows and he's told me so, and now he knows that I know that he knows, _and we all just know!_"

"Yes, you really did fuck it up with that one, didn't you?"

"Gee, thanks Samuels." It's silent in the common room for a moment while Sarah and I sit, glowering at separate spaces on the wall. Sarah concedes the silent death match first.

"So, what's Malfoy going to do now that you know that he knows?" Albus, who had been relatively quiet, snorts loudly.

"What?" I demand. He takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes before snorting again.

"Well, simply taking everything into account…Dominique, Teddy, the family, the fact that I'm quite certain Scorpius took pleasure in toying with small animals as a child…"

I turn on Al quickly, "_YES?_ _WHAT OF IT?_ And I will have you know all he did was charm a squirrel to do the can-can in second year! Hardly diabolical."

Albus rolls his eyes and messes with his hair. "Merlin, Rose. You're _fucked_." The truth of this statement hits me. Hard. Scorpius holds my life and my sanity in those aristocratic, demonic, lovely hands. A single movement will destroy everything.

I start to panic and I'm probably looking green. Al is right, absolutely right. Sarah's plan was brilliant, and now everything's gone tits up. There's only one voice or reason that's going to calm me down now. That's Teddy Remus Lupin. And he's at the root of all this. And I can't even tell him what's going on, at least not in full, but just seeing his face will hopefully be enough.

"Oh, God. I have to see Teddy. I have to talk to him. I have to _see_ him!" I'm about to hyperventilate and all Sarah does is look on in approval.

"Yes," she nods, "this can still be salvaged! Go, do what you must!" I could sock her one right in the face.

"Samuels, I hardly think that –"

"Yes! Less thinking, more doing! Seduce him! Ravish him! Or at least make sure someone sees you!" Her gold eyes are wide and pushing me forwards and I hate her for it. But I don't have the time to muster up a snotty remark or even hex her. The room is starting to spin.

"I…I've got to get out of here. The common room is making me feel like fuzzy slippers on a beige wall."

And with that I turn tail, and bolt from the common room. In my pajamas.

Merlin, I _am_ fucked.


End file.
